Through and Through
by KokoRose95
Summary: The first chapter is weird because I was going to rewrite it and that was where the first chapter got. But I've decided to change it and make it my own. The chapters are sectioned into 5 per chapter. Sorry that it's so long. I just didn't want to upload 17 chapters. Enjoy! It would be cool if I got reviews but this account is soley for stories of mine that got nowhere. Thanks!
1. Chapter One Through Five

Chapter 1: Suicide and Scars

I let out a heavy sigh, running my fingers through my tangled hair. Feeling the heavy disapproving glare that I'm receiving from my brother causes me to ache for a smoke. Finally I reach my breaking point.

"Stop fucking staring at me, Embry!" I yell while baring my teeth, nostrils flaring. I fucking despise being on 'suicide watch.'

A couple of nights ago, like always, I snuck out. There was going to be a _raging_ party down on First Beach. I'm the rebellious child of the Call family. Never Embry. Even though I don't make the smartest choices, I still have a sense of right from wrong. I had contemplated not getting into anymore trouble, but with the week I had been having, I needed an escape.

That escape were my two best friends, alcohol and marijuana.

Yeah, I drank a little more than I should've and was 'high as a kite.' But that didn't mean anything was going to go wrong.

Rumor was, that I tried to kill myself. That was a big fat fucking lie.

Although, I have considered suicide many times. But I can never do that to Embry. Embry is the only person that understands me, or hears the truth when I speak it. The only one person that cares for me. The only one I can ever have any emotional feelings for.

How I see it is, that I was just having fun. I honestly don't see anything wrong with that. I was just going to go cliff diving.

Somehow my brother and his friends got mixed up in my _social_ time. I had decided to go climbing up the wrong way up the cliffs. Resulting in a few cuts, bruises, and running into my brother. Oops.

Everything went downhill from there. I had tried to avoid the fact that I was blitzed, but of course he noticed. Then he had to go and a make a big deal about me going off and killing myself. He asked if I was trying to get myself killed. I arrogantly replied with 'well then I'd be getting away from you.'

Not my smartest move.

He overreacted and dragged my ass home. I slept off the high and drunkenness. Silently hoping he hadn't told my mom. But of course he had.

I didn't give a damn to try and defend myself from her. There was no point. All I would end up with is a month's worth of grounding that she wouldn't even enforce.

She has no control over what I do. No matter how much she wants to. It's all made up in her head.

If she truly wanted to stop the things that I do, she would've listened three years ago.

That's why I'm in this mess. She ignored me so much that I finally found something to take care of my problems. Alcohol and marijuana. The affect that the two have on my problems, only makes me long for them more. Slowly turning into an addiction, becoming something I need.

I can't simply quit. No matter how badly my mother wants me too. She hasn't the slightest clue how she's driven me to what I've become.

I really wish that Embry hadn't reacted the way that he did. He's making a big deal out of something so small.

It's strange.

Now he wants to care about what I'm doing, when he normally left me alone. He's acting really quite different. He seems angered by what I've done. He's never mad.

Something is going on with my big brother. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

"No, Klaira! You're the one that decided to make your dumbass choices. Now it's time to face the consequences," Embry harshly points out, fixating his gaze upon me. I just love the newly found attitude of his.

Hastily, I push myself up from the couch, making my way to the door.

"Really, Embry? I was joking! You know it's supposed to be funny. Did it even cross your mind that I was making a _joke_?" I turn towards the door, yanking on my combat boots. "You know what? Forget it. I'm wasting my breath anyway," I mumble while twisting the door knob open, so that I can venture out into the falling rain.

"Where the hell do _you_ think you're going?" Embry asks, fury ripping through his voice. I've never known him to be so hot headed and protective. What the hell is going on with him?

I fling the door shut behind me, jumping down the stairs, as I make my way down the muddy trail.

"It's called a walk you dumbass," I snarl over my shoulder, noticing that he has come out of the house to follow me. I watch as his more built body, shakes with vigor in the doorframe. I ignore it as I turn, to walk down the trail, mud sloshing up the back of my jeans.

I have to get away. Away from him and everything. The only way I know how to get away from my problems is running. I know that there's probably better alternatives. But this is the only one I can turn to. Drinking.

I feel the small hole of feeling rip open in my chest. I know it needs to be closed before it takes over. Drinking solves that problem. Smoking does some of the time, but I mostly smoke to relax.

Swiftly, the 'hall monitors on steroids' pass me on the trail. I abruptly turn around, noticing that they're heading towards my house. I break into a sprint, knowing that something is terribly wrong.

There is no way that I'm letting Sam drag my brother into his cult. I will never let that happen. Embry will never become one of _them_.

"What the hell are you doing?" I spit out at their fearless leader, Sam, while flying up the front steps of my porch.

"Move aside, Klaira. We're here to help him," Sam instructs, pushing me out of his way.

Quickly, I jump in front of him, stopping him once more. I look straight into his eyes, I know I pose a threat even though I'm increasingly smaller than him. I feel my eyes change color as my pupils decrease. Turning into a mossy black, aside from my warm forest green. My eyes always make it obvious when I'm pissed. My bitchy tone never gives it away, I'm always like that.

"He doesn't need _your_ help. Now leave," I demand, shoving Sam's chest.

"Paul, Jared, take Embry," Sam orders. I turn to my right, staring at Paul. I watched as he placed a hand on Embry's shaking shoulder.

"Get your hand off of him, Paul," I advise, stepping closer to him. I can feel myself about to do something rash, something I'll probably repent later. He pulls my brother from the door, turning to walk down the side steps that adjoin the forest.

Enraged, I run up behind Paul, latching on to his back. I rear my had back, forming it into a fist. I slam my fist with an immense amount of force into his cheek.

Suddenly, I pause as my hand begins to shake. I slide off of Paul's back, clutching my hand close to my chest.

"Mother fucking shit!" I scream out in agony. It's not like I haven't punched someone before. I definitely have, and I've broken some bones in doing so. Not mine of course. But there's a first for everything. I try moving my hand but realize it's a lost cause.

"Stay away from Embry for a while, if you know what's best for you," Sam orders, while going down the steps after his cult, and my brother who is soon to become the next member.

I turn, knowing there is nothing I can do, heading back into my house. I suddenly freeze, as agonizing, loud, screams come from my brother deep within the forest. Abruptly, a howl of a wolf replaces his moans of pain. I feel my heart contract in my chest, hurting for my brother.

I have to help him!

I sprint into the woods, searching for my brother who is nowhere to be found. Rain attacks my face, feeling like needles as it begins falling heavier from the sky. Frantically, I continue my search, only to find a mass of trees and rain before me.

I quickly glance down at my hand noticing that is has starting to purple. Giving up, I try to find my way out of the forest so that Quil, or Black can take me to the hospital. I struggle to remember the way that I came, everything blurs together and I feel as if I am hopelessly lost.

A rustle through the bushes puts me on alert. I hear it once more snapping my head in the direction of which it came. I feel my breathing pick up as nervousness takes over. Something black and gray flashes across my path. I freeze, fearing what I have seen.

The beast stalks forward, getting extremely close to me. He crushes the fallen leaves in his path as his shoulders rise with every step. I cautiously step backward, tripping over a tree branch. As I fall, I extend my arms out to catch myself. I hiss in pain as the weight that I have exerted on my hand causes it to snap. Hastily, I back up on my hands trying to evade the monster. He continues to advance towards me, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I look frantically around me and realize that there's nowhere to escape. Falling back onto the rough forest terrain, the wolf hovers over me. His breath dances across my face, his bloodthirsty jaws inches from me.

Snarls escape the beast lips, and I desperately try pushing myself farther into the muck. The snarls escalate, the wolf tauntingly snaps his jaws at my face, barley missing. I feel a scream arising in my thought, but I know it is useless. All I can do is lye here, clinching my eyes shut, waiting for my life to end.

A loud growl comes from the left, the wolf and I swiftly snap our heads in its direction. A lager black wolf emerges from the trees, snarling at the black and gray one. The wolf above me turns towards the other wolf, his head ducked and tail between his legs. The sign of submission. The black wolf must be the Alpha of the pack. Two more wolfs come into my line of sight. A shaggier furred one turns his head over his shoulder, staring at me. In the wolf's humanistic gaze he held concern, and protection towards me. Almost like Embry-

Suddenly, realization hits me hard in the chest as I lay motionless in the mud. Today, I had lost my best friend, my only friend. To that damn cult!

Fuck Sam Uley, for he is the one who took my brother from me.

Chapter 2: Obscenities and Nightmares

Slowly, I drag my eyes open to the morning light shining through the windows. Two bare, wet feet stand before me. I follow the feet up finding a towel hugging low on a guy's hips, looking as if it would fall by the slightest imbalence. Water gentley slid down

Chapter 2: Obscenities and Nightmares

I slowly opened my eyes to see two bare, soaking wet feet in front of me. I gazed up a white towel, hugging low on his hips looking as if it would fall by the slightest imbalance. The water sliding off of his body, started to collect a puddle around his feet on the floor.

I sat up, stretching my neck, running my left hand through my unruly hair.

"Why the hell am I in your house, Black? Better yet, why the fuck am I in your room?" I asked, my mouth drying from the bitter words I spat at him. It was too early for this shit. _What the fuck is going on?_ I thought.

"What? Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the floor?" He mockingly said not even caring about his hardly clothed state. His long hair hung down his back dripping water down to the floor. I noticed him starting to fill out, maybe it was a good thing for him. The newly found structure helped him not look as awkward as he once had a couple of months ago.

I looked down at myself, noticing my new setup. The shirt hung down my body reaching just past my ass. _Oh shit! _I thought.

"Black?"

"What?" I pulled the shirt from my body making him notice it. A smirk planted itself on his face as he came closer to me bending down to meet me eye level. "Some night, last night. Thanks Klaira." He pursed his lips out making a kissing motion towards me. I raised my right hand, rearing back to hit him when something stopped me.

His hand clasped over mine, the pain made my stomach twist.

"Don't want to mess up Dr. Cullen's handy work. Now, do we?" He said flipping my small hand over in his extremely large one.

"Give me my hand back." I spat yanking the clothed appendage from his grasp.

"Looks like whatever medicine Dr. Cullen gave you took a toll on you. You don't remember a thing, do you?" I gave him a disgusted look as he stood up heading for his closet. "Well last night," he continued, "you came up to the house. You looked as if you had seen a murder, it was so strange. I never thought I would see you scared."

"Scared, I'm never scared. We didn't do anything did we?"

"Just let me continue and no we didn't. It's quite funny, you thinking we did, though. I mean come on. So, it was raining and you were covered in mud. I tried to get you to speak, but all you did was, show me your hand. I took you to the doctor on the way back you couldn't keep you're mouth shut. I don't even think you realized what you were saying. Dr. Cullen said you had a minor sprain and you're hand was severely bruised. He gave you some pain killers there in the Rabbit. He also gave you some medicine to help you calm down. That's why you can't remember a thing. Why couldn't Embry take you?"

I felt my heart tighten at the mention of his name. Damn cult.

There was a short silence as I searched for my boots.

"It doesn't matter." I said my words leaving an acid taste in my mouth. "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." I slid on my boots and slipped out his back door heading through the clearing towards my house. I completely forgot about getting the pain killers, well actually I didn't care. I lugged my tired body through the muggy thick air that was always around La Push. The shirt clung to my body making the weather more unpleasant. _I should've gotten my jeans_, I thought. _It's so damn cold._

I kicked off my boots as I entered my house and walked straight up to my room. I pushed on my sound system as _Three Days Grace_ poured through the speakers _Pain_ filling my ears.

My mom burst through my door yelling at me over the blaring music.

"Turn it down." She instructed all I did was grab my remote and turned it up more. "Turn it off, now or..."

"What? You're going to ground me?" I retorted.

"Yes. You're grounded for a month."

"Whoop de-do!"

"Want to make it two?" I just smirked at her.

"My life is already a living hell."

"That's it you're grounded for three. Shall we make it four?"

"Is that supposed to scare me?"

"Oh Klaira, what will I ever do with you? Where's your brother?"

"I don't know mom. Isn't that your job to keep up with him?" I completely ignored the rest of her comments, she soon left the room.

I pulled out my sketchbook from underneath my mattress. The only thing that was private in my life, it was like a journal but instead of expressing myself with words it was pictures. My pictures, my stories.

I slowly flipped through the drawings that I stayed up countless hours working on. I traced my hand over my favorite, the one I had drawn when I was still happy. I hastily turned the page as my stomach knotted sending a nauseous feeling through my body. My hole in my chest opening once more.

I turned to a blank page and grabbed my ebony and charcoal from my night stand. I began drawing the one thing that had constantly been on my mind since yesterday.

The wolf gazed through the trees up at me. It seemed as if he would jump clear off the page. I put the finishing touches to the rainy sky and mossy trees.

Lastly I placed my signature on the bottom right corner.

_The trees zoomed past me as I pushed myself further through the forest. My heavy breath formed before me, extremely noticeable from the frigid night._

_I snapped my head over my shoulder, gazing for whatever I was running from. I stumbled as a branch ran across my leg, clutching to the stark white, long dress I was wearing. It was a beautiful garment that complimented my russet skin tone well. _

_Not having the time to stop, I let the fabric rip as the branch scratched my leg. I continued to run as I tripped on a branch almost falling. I kept pushing myself. I felt something warm and sticky oozing down my leg and chest. I looked down to see three long, deep gashes starting from my right shoulder ending above my heart._

_As I made my way towards the end of the forest a mess of tree limbs scratched across my cheek. I fell into the meadow hearing the howls swelling all around me. I stood in the middle of the moon lit meadow, my chest heaving up and down. I turned in circles, my eyes scanning every inch surrounding me. I couldn't feel any of the pain from my wounds, I was too frantic._

_Five wolves emerged from the woods surrounding the meadow. They lurked towards me. The wind picked up ruffling my naturally curly hair into my face. As they approached I turned trying to find an escape._

_My body became shaky as a cold sweat formed on my skin. I couldn't find my breath, my heart pounding in my ears. Tears pricked behind my eyes, I was scared, horrified._

_My knees buckled, leading me to the ground. I pushed back as the silver with black spotted wolf got closer and closer to me._

"_Embry, please don't." I chocked out, tears spilling from my eyes._

_I continued to back up, suddenly I was stopped. My head shot up, catching a glimpse of the russet wolf behind me._

_Quickly, I cowered, falling into a fetal position. I pulled my head towards my knees, clenching my eyes shut._

_I felt the presence of the wolves around me, inches from my body. I felt their hot breaths upon me. I opened my mouth to scream…_

I shot up from my nightmare, taking in a sharp breath. I looked down to find no marks. I placed my hand over my erratically beating heart. I sat in my bed and began to think about my nightmare. _Why was I so scared? Oh, wait there was five wolves; six times my size about kill me. Why in the world did I let one scratch me? How did I even get away? Why the fuck did I call one, Embry?_

A loud banging noise broke my concentration. I flipped over in my bed shoving my sketchbook back underneath my mattress. I probably had smudge marks on my face from falling asleep on my sketchbook. I emerged sleepily from my room trying to find the source of the sound. I drug myself through the hall making my way towards my brother's room. The noise was heard again coming from his window. I made my way towards it opening it slightly. I looked down to see... Embry!

"What the fuck are you doing Embry?" I whispered/yelled down at him.

"Get back and open the window more." He demanded as he got in a running position. _What the hell?_ I thought. _Is he going too sprint up through the window?_ "Just do it," he yelled back up.

I moved and watched as he pushed his body up the side of the house, jumping onto a tress, scurrying up. Suddenly he flung himself through the window, landing on his feet with a small thud. I examined him noticing that his hair was gone.

"Good you needed that mess of hair gone. Now what the fuck is going on?"

He pulled me into a hug saying, "I'm glad you're okay." I quickly pushed him away. I couldn't stand people touching me. Usually I would let Embry, but not since he has changed. The nightmare had put me on edge, also.

"What? I'm perfectly fine. I'm asking you, one more time. What the fuck is gong on?" I said louder, letting my bitch come out. Embry had seen it plenty of times, but it was never aimed at him. Now, was different.

"Hush, you're going to wake Mom."

"I don't care!" I yelled, making my anger evident.

"What happened to your hand?" He dumbly asked.

"I punched Paul. Didn't he tell you?"

"No, why would he have told me?" Dumb boy. Was I going to have to spell things out for him? Hold his hand? God!

After a short silence I spoke.

"Because your one of them now." My mouth burned as the words left it. I felt my heart clinch, yet again. I tried pushing the feeling away but it wouldn't cease. I let the breath go I realized I had been holding.

"One of who Klaira? I'm still the same." His tone was soft and solemn like the old Embry I once knew. He reached out for me. I was quick to push him away. I felt my whole body tense as my hurt turned into rage.

"No you're not!" I spat out, feeling my eyes change color. "Your apart of Sam's fucking cult! You're what you always set out not to be. You know 'a hall monitor on steroids?' Just like Sam. Why? Why the sudden change? What the hell happened to you?" I felt my nostrils flare as I inhaled an immense amount of air.

"Nothing. I can't say." Why the hell was he being so closed off?

I fought the strong urge to hit him, knowing it would just make matters worse. I balled my hands into fist, feeling them shake at my side, full of anger.

"Why the hell not? You used to tell me everything! Why is this any different? Is it because of Sam? His damn rules?"

"It's not right of me to tell." I watched as he ran a hand through his newly cropped hair, taking in a deep breath. I knew he wanted to, but it seemed as if something wasn't letting him. I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his voice. It was killing him inside.

"Whatever. I thought you were better than this. I see clearly now that you aren't. What happened to my brother?" I turned and began walking out the door. He held his breath; I could tell I hurt him. I quickly turned back around saying, "Oh and by the way you might want to be getting home earlier. Mommy dearest might be worried about you." Not once did I look at him. I couldn't meet his gaze; see the hurt I had caused.

Dismissing the noise of him leaving out the window I made my way back to the darkness and solitude of my room. I fell into the mess of sheets on my bed, hating myself for what I had done. I tried to push the part of me that wanted to care away, and let the 'I don't give a fuck' feeling consume me. Somehow, I felt as it never would.

Chapter 3: Kids and Tattoos

I shot up rubbing my eyes as my mother barged through my door, startling me awake.

"Klaira, you're rubbing off on Embry." She said, giving me a disappointed look. _What the fuck is she talking about_? I thought.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked seriously pondering her comment.

"You know."

"Oh I do." I didn't know what she was talking about but I made some snide comments, anyway. "You're afraid me rubbing off on Embry will take your perfect child away. News flash Tiffany, it's not me. Why don't you go ask Sam Uley?" I said, clenching my teeth at the mention of his name. Damn brother stealing bastard.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She had the dumbest look on her face.

"You know."

"Why yes I do." She said mocking my tone from earlier. "Remember that you're babysitting Anna today. You need to be over at the Ravenwood's house by ten."

"But it's nine twenty five."

"Then I suggest you hurry." She said leaving my room, shutting the door behind her.

I jolted up quickly stripping from what little clothing I had on from the night before. I quickly pulled on my favorite rocker tee, jeans and of course my combat boots.

I stumbled down the stairs flinging the door open, and made my way as fast as I could to the Ravenwood's. I tried hopelessly to pull on my leather jacket as I ran down the road. Why the fuck I couldn't drive my mom's car, was beyond me? No one would stop me. I mean, it's La Push for crying out loud. Jesus!

"Sorry, I'm late Mrs. Ravenwood." I said while trying to catch my breath from running the long distance over to her house.

"It's all right. Anna is in her room, still sleeping. She should be up soon." Mrs. Ravenwood replied, frantically trying to leave the house.

I lugged my tired body over to the couch and plopped down. While resting my eyes I heard a door open. My eyes fluttered open to find a tired Anna walking down the hall dragging a blanket behind her. She continued down the hall rubbing her eyes as her hair stuck up in every which way thought possible.

"Who are you?" Anna asked me in a small voice.

"I'm Klaira." I replied, trying to be nice.

"Where's Mommy?"

"She went out but she'll be back soon." I said in a reassuring tone, I hoped to God that she wasn't one of those kids who cried for their mommy to come back.

"Oh, so you're the babysitter?" She said as she plopped down beside me on the couch.

"Yeah. So what do you wanna do kid?"

"My name is Anna." She retorted in a sassy tone, giving me a look as if to say 'are you for real?'

"Okay Miss Sassafras. Let's get you dressed and then we can figure out something to do."

"Let's go." She exclaimed hopping down from the couch. She grabbed my hand dragging me down the hall into her room. I went into her closet and began grabbing some items to wear.

"No!" Anna yelled at me, giving me a pouty look.

"Okay," I said, shoving the clothes back in her drawers. "What do you want to wear?"

She came up behind me pointing to a big pink tutu. I pulled out a long sleeve shirt and black and white leopard print tights for her to wear. I tossed the clothes at her and let her change. Once she was done I figured we'd to do something with her mess of a thing called hair.

"We need to do something to your hair. How do you want it?"

"Big pony tail with big bow!" Anna exclaimed, expanding her arms on 'big'.

After fixing her hair, pinning in the biggest bow I could find, I thought that we might actually do something.

"Now what do you wanna do, Miss Anna?" I asked hoping she had something in mind.

"Play Barbies?"

"Okay." I was up for anything as long as I was getting paid. Hell, I'd let the kid do my make up for all I cared.

While in the middle of our game Anna threw down her Barbies, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You suck at this!" She exclaimed. It wasn't my fault I hadn't played Barbies in years. Anyways, they usually ended up in pieces from going on "sky diving missions" from the top of the trees. I was quite an adventuress child. I never had time to play Barbies when adventure came knocking.

"What? Hey, are you not allowed to say that word?" I said realizing that the connotation of the word wasn't what a six year old to be saying.

"I'm six I think I can say whatever I want."

"Okay, but I don't think your Mom would like that."

"I don't care. What she doesn't know won't hurt her." Defying authority, I liked it.

"I like you, kid." I said ruffling her hair. She gave me a dirty look, letting me know she hated when I called her kid and the ruffling of the hair. "Oh sorry, Anna." She smiled at me coyly, hiding something devious behind her smile. I was begging to like her more and more.

"Can we go outside for a walk?" She asked pulling my hand making me get up from the floor of her room.

"Sure thing." She pulled on her boots as we walked out of the house and started our walk to where ever our feet would take us.

"Hey, Anna?" I asked grabbing her attention.

"What?" She asked, eyes looking up at me as if she adored me. _Oh shit! I don't need to turn into her role model, _I thought. _I'm definitely not the person to follow._

"Can I tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell?"

"Okay, I promise."

"I have a tattoo." I had gotten one done not long ago. I had found a place that would let anyone have one. Since I was about to turn sixteen I figured I would give myself an early birthday present. I had been dying to tell someone, I had no friends and since Embry had change I couldn't tell him. Who knows what would've happened if I did. So, I told Anna, probably not the smartest move.

"Really?" She said her expression on her face showing her curiosity.

"Yes, you can't tell anyone because if you do your mom will never let me watch you again."

"Who said I wanted you to watch me again?" She said, smiling up at me.

"Gasp," I said trying to act appalled. "I thought you liked me?"

"Klaira," A familiar voice said. Why did I have to be running into him now? "You left these in the Rabbit. I brought them to your house thinking you might be there. Your mom said you were babysitting; I was heading over to the Ravenwood's. Hey, Anna, what are you up to?" He asked, having such a carefree aura about him.

"Klaira was just telling me about her tattoo." She smiled. I knew it would back fire on me. _Well fuck!_

"Anna." I said through my teeth glaring down at her. I fake laughed, trying to cover up the fact of what she was saying. "Kids these days can't believe a word they say." I said looking at Jacob. Right behind him I saw _her_ red truck pull up. Oh how I despised _her_. Who the hell does she think she is to come around here? "Hey, there's your girlfriend, Black." I said, in a despising tone, hopefully it would get his mind off of my little tattoo.

"She's not my..." I cut him off.

"Sure. We better go Anna's mom should be getting back soon." I turned grabbing Anna's hand, pulling her back towards her house. "I told you not to tell." I said, agitated.

"Calm down. He doesn't believe me. I'm not going to tell my mom." She said brushing it off, like it was nothing. I don't know why, I didn't want him to know. Maybe, it was the fact of just another reason for him to see me lowly. Why the hell would I care, anyway? Immediately, I pushed the feeling away.

"So, you do like me?" I said, a smile crossing my face. Not many people liked me. Come to think of it mo one did. Hell, I wouldn't like myself if I knew me. The thing was that I didn't, know me.

Who am I?

"Yeah you're a cool babysitter. What was that with you and Jacob?"

"What do you mean?" _What the hell could she, be talking about? _I thought.

"I mean you like him."

"What gave you that idea?" _What the fuck! I most definitely do not! Black is just… Well, that pretty much explains it._

"The way you got when Bella showed up." _Damn she's observant!_

"Oh that was nothing, I just don't like her." That was the truth.

"Keep lying to yourself, whatever gets you through the night."

"You need to stop watching so many soap opera." I said, jeez, what the hell were kids watching these days?

"Who says I do?"

"I do."

"Well I don't. I'm just stating the facts." That little smart ass.

"Hey look your mom is home." I said, diverting from the conversation. She quickly picked up speed and went from her gait to a full out sprint. Her mother picked her up placing her on her hip.

"What did you two do today?" Mrs. Ravenwood asked, as I made my way towards her.

"Played Barbies, which Klaira is no good at. Then we went for a walk and saw Jacob." She said, with a smile.

"Was she good for you?"

"Yeah, great." I exclaimed, I liked little Anna.

"So I can count on seeing you again?"

"Yes, of course." I had a lot of fun and a very eventful day, I was definitely coming back. She slipped her hand into her pocket pulling out a check and handed it to me.

"I'll call you when you're needed. Do you need a ride?"

"No thanks, I'm good." I turned and headed on my walk back. I decided to take some back roads that ran past the cliffs.

While passing the cliffs I saw Sam and his cult venturing up to the highest peak. I picked up my speed, jogging over to him.

"You," I yelled, grabbing his attention. "Yeah you. I don't know what your damn problem is but I suggest you stop influencing my brother." I was tired of not having my brother back. I hated it all. I wanted it to all fucking end. I knew that my mom wouldn't do anything to stop it so I figured I try.

I heard footsteps coming from behind, I turned seeing Embry running at me.

"Klaira, don't yell at him!" He demanded.

"What the fuck, Embry?" I retorted.

"He's trying to help me."

"Help you! Is that why you call this?"

"Klaira..." I swiftly cut him off not wanting to hear his damn comments.

"Just forget it. I see where I stand in your eyes. I just thought you were different is all, and I see now you're no better." I quickly turned fleeing the scene, trying to hide the pain that his words caused.

I hastily moved to where I was unseen. My heart clenched in my chest, the pain running through my body. I stopped, gasping for air while clutching my chest.

I could hear Sam yelling orders at Embry as he yelled back. Finally, Embry stopped whatever he was about to do and they headed up the cliffs.

I had to come to terms that he is taken, no matter how much it hurts. Even though it's killing me. All I want is my brother back.

I take a couple of second to readjust myself so I could head back.

While walking down the high way I saw Black and his 'girlfriend' over on the side of the road. They were watching as Sam and his disciples jumped from the cliffs.

I quickly concealed my face to hide the pain that I felt. As I passed I let the pain show, I let it hit me. While walking pass I could hear them talking.

"Who's that?" She asked, Jake.

"Klaira, Embry's sister." He replied.

"Doesn't look like she's taken with him being one of Sam's disciples. She seems like..." She didn't know how to finish so Jake did for her.

"A bitch?" He asked wondering if that was the word she was looking for.

"Yeah." I didn't care how she thought of me, I didn't like her so what did it matter? Then, Black said something that I thought I never would've heard him say.

"It's not just that. It's more."

Chapter 4: Routine and Change

Days passed as January made its transition into February. The days seemed to drag on into oblivion. Everyday feeling the same, falling into routine. School, home, and still no Embry, until late at night. The impending day would repeat itself, over and over.

Something had to give!

I was still grounded, but that didn't mean I was to follow it. No, not at all. Strangely, I had been. I had never intended on listening to orders. Orders that weren't even enforced. What the fuck was wrong with me? Maybe, it was because of the pain of not wanting to do anything.

The hurt causing me to be idle.

That needed to change.

"Hey Quil. Wanna go to Port Angeles with me tonight?" I asked over the phone.

"Why?" He asked, with a sense of amusement in his voice.

"Does it matter? I don't see Embry anymore and I doubt that you do. Black is too wrapped up in his girlfriend to care about you." I harshly pointed out.

"Well I..." He began.

"Come on Quil its going with me, or staying here in La Push on your lazy ass all day. It's Friday night! Live a little, man." God, this guy was no fun. Dumb dead beat.

"But Klaira..."

"Take it or leave it. Your friends are avoiding you and I need a friend." I lied through my teeth. I didn't need a friend. I had none. I had got along perfectly fine without them. What was the use? All they do is stab you in the back when you need them the most. "What do you say?"

I casually walked up to movie ticket counter in front of the theatre, placing my order for two tickets for _Love Spelled Backwards is Love_.

"Are we really seeing that?" Quil asked from behind me, as I paid and received my tickets.

"Shut up, dumb ass." I scolded, pulling him over to the side, before the doors. I hastily dragged him into the theatre. "We're sneaking in to _Face Punch_."

"Oh!" Quil let out a little too loudly for my liking.

"I'll stay behind and get food you go ahead and sneak in." I instructed. _Stupid, stupid boy, _I thought.

As soon as Quil was out of sight, I turned and hastily headed out of the theatre. I strutted down the street as the pieces of my plan were falling into play…

"Hey baby!" This nice looking, sleaze said while whistling at me. I turned looking him up and down. Not to shabby, not to shabby at all. "Want a drink?" He asked giving me a smirk. I knew what was behind that smirk. _Ha, that bastard thinks he's going to get lucky. All he's going to do is get a very big hole in his wallet._

"Hell yeah!" I exclaimed as I walked with him into the club. _Perfect! Everything's going to plan. I love it. _

**Jacob's POV**

I walked out of the theatre still shaken about my outburst. I turned heading towards the Rabbit. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the two people I never would've thought would be in Port Angeles on a Friday night.

Klaira started to stumble when walking towards Bella, Mike and I. Quil quickly outstretched an arm to steady her. Something was up.

"Hey." Bella exclaimed as they stopped in front of us.

_Are the two of them on a date? _I thought. _No! Hell no, Klaira is too heartless._

"What are you two doing out here?" I asked, seriously pondering my comment.

The wind picked up carrying the sweet, sickening, stench of alcohol from Klaira filling my nostrils.

"Quil, why did you let her drink?" I asked, feeling a snarl rip through my voice. _What the hell? A snarl? I'm delusional._

"I didn't she snuck off." He defended.

"Oh, so that makes it better?" I was becoming heated over the matter. I had no clue what was going on. _Why the hell do I care about Klaira? Oh that's right Embry is my best friend and she's his sister. Wait, no I've never cared about her. Never. What's wrong with me?_

"Dude calm down." Quil said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah." I dumbly said.

I watched as Klaira stumbled over to me, placing a cold hand on my ear. She stretched up on her toes, her lips grazing across my ear.

"Hey," she began. "I snuck off to drink. I went away from Quil. I just used him to get me here. Don't tell him."

"Don't worry," I said. "I don't think that'll be a problem."

"Why do you even care now, Jacob?" Quil asked. I realized that he did have a point.

"She's my best friend's sister. She's always hung out with us before whatever sent her on this 'bad streak.' How can I not care?" That was true. Something had changed her. She had once been a friend. Well, sort of. If one's definition of friend is, someone who throws rocks at others and wrestles boys. Yeah, a friend?

"Embry doesn't care for us anymore. If you haven't noticed he's turned into one of Sam's freaks." That was true, too. Sam had taken him, and he kept looking at me strangely. As if I was next.

"Don't talk about Embry like that!" I yelled, feeling my self shake. What the hell was wrong with me?

Klaira jumped in the middle of us. For someone who was drunk she was still pretty lucid.

"Hey calm do...:" She began, placing a hand upon my shaking chest. "Damn, you're burning up. Are you… are you… what's that word… sick. Are you sick, Jackob." Yep, she was drunk for sure. Good God!

Letting out a heavy sigh I said, "Take her home Quil. Make sure her mom doesn't find out."

Something was seriously wrong. When Klaira touched me it was as if she had calmed me. Almost instantly. What the fuck, man? Maybe it was because she was drunk.

"I really think I'd better go home now," I said heading for my Rabbit.

I quickly got in hearing Bella yell, 'call me,' as I pulled off.

I turned on the dirt road heading towards my home. I needed to get home; maybe I could shake everything that was going on.

I walked into the house, finding my father in the living room waiting for me.

"Son, what's wrong? You look funny?" He asked, giving me a look. He had been distant these last few weeks and now he wants to care. Now, is when he chooses to care?

"Funny? Funny?" I snarled, barring my teeth.

My body began shaking, more than it had earlier. Snarls ripped through my mouth as I uncontrollably shook. What the hell was going on? My temper was set off. Higher than any other time. I was furious, no beyond furious.

Red clouded my vision as I continued to shake. I watched as my father, back away. As if he was scared of me, but fear wasn't on his face. It was more like… amusement. He thought I looked funny!

My body began ripping I felt my muscles shrinking and lengthening all in one motion. It was killing me. I let yells of agony rip through my mouth. I heard the tearing of my clothes, the splitting of my muscles. Pain radiating through my body. The pain got to its climax, immediately ceasing.

I gazed down to see two, russet… paws. Paws! Suddenly everything clicked. All of the legends were true. All of the stories my mother had told me when I was a child, were real.

A loud, demanding voice popped into my head saying, "Welcome to the pack, Jacob."

Chapter 5: Parties and Marks

"What is this?" I asked, examining the stark white fabric.

"A dress. You're wearing it tonight for my party." My mom said, a smile gracing her face. I hated her damn party.

"Really mom is it this necessary? Must you always throw this party?" God only knows how much I hated it.

"Yes, Klaira. Everyone loves my Valentine's party."

"Except me. Where did you get this?" I asked. It didn't look store bought at all. It was too nice, too beautiful.

"I had it made. One day when I was cleaning your sheets your sketchbook flew out and I found a picture of you in this dress." I froze. How dare she look through my sketchbook? That was private. And that meant that it was the dress in my dream. My hands went limp as I dropped the dress. Fear crossing my face, my mother failing to notice.

"You looked through it?" I snarled out, after a moment of silence.

"No, only on that page. When it fell it came open on that page. Klaira don't be mad at me." Mad, I was furious!

"I'm fine. Just next time don't touch my sketchbook. Okay?" I said cocking my head to show her my eyes, letting her know how angry I was.

"Yes. Now be ready by five thirty." She demanded.

"Tiffany, must I go?" I pleaded, hoping I wouldn't have to.

"Yes Klaira! Now stop calling me Tiffany. It'll get you out of all your grounding."

"All three months of it?" I asked hopefully. Although, she didn't enforce it.

"All four."

"Then yes I'll go and hey I may even look presentable. Anything else I can do for you?" I said, clearly kissing up to her.

"Try and find your brother and remind him of the party, or he's going to be the one grounded." Oh, now he's the bad one.

"So does this mean I'm the good child now?" I said, a sly smile crossing my lips.

"No, you still think I didn't know about what you did last Friday night." _What the fuck? How the hell does she know? _I thought_._

"You know?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I know all." Shed said in a haughty tone. "Especially, what you did to Quil. The drinking I've learned to get used to, but what you did to Quil is unacceptable. I'm still thinking of a way to punish you." _Punish me? Ha, funny. _I mockingly thought.

"Like you'll ever enforce it." I grumbled under my breath hoping she hadn't heard me. But she had.

"Klaira Shay Call!" I hated when she uses my full name.

"What, Tiffany? Let me guess I'm grounded?"

"Let's not start this. Go find your brother." She demanded walking out of my room.

"Whatever." I pulled on my jacket heading out into the poring rain. _God! Did it always have to be like this at La Push? Of course it did, _I thought_._

I crossed paths with _her, _seeing a distressed look upon _her_ face. Even tears streaming down _her_ reddened cheeks. She hurriedly passed me, clutching her stomach, heading into her truck.

_What's wrong with her? _I thought. _Guess Black finally broke up with her. _I silently laughed to myself.

I walked through the clearing seeing, my brother heading into the woods with the rest of Sam's freaks. I called out, catching his attention. I ran through the vigorous wind and rain to him.

"Hey, remember the party is tonight. Mom is threatening to ground you." I said, coldly. I turned heading out of the rain not caring if he heard me. I didn't want to look at him. To see what he had become. It hurt to damn bad.

I ran up to my room, stripping from my wet clothes letting my hair dry naturally, in its curly state. I pulled the dress from its current position on the floor onto my body. I walked over to my mirror looking at myself in the mirror. Wow, I had to admit I looked actually pretty and I never looked that way. I drug myself into my bathroom, pulling out my make up that I hardly used.

While putting the finishing touches of glitter on my eyes, that brought out the green in them, my mom walked in. Wearing a red dress that hugged each of her curves, she leant against the doorway.

"Klaira Shay, you look so… so gorgeous." She said, awestruck.

"Whatever Mom." I said placing the glitter down, walking over to my closet to pull on a pair of sandals, I had that would put the finishing touches on my outfit. I never really liked to dress fashionably, but I have to admit I was very good at putting outfits together, when I wanted to.

"That boy you like is going to be here." My mother cheerfully said.

"You like him not me." I pointed out. I hated how she always tried to set me up. I don't want to be in love. Ever. I would never happen anyway.

"Well maybe you'll find someone. Looking like that you'll catch anyone's eye." She said which she was right. I looked great, when I felt like doing so.

"I'm not looking for love Mom. I don't do the whole love thing. It's a bunch of shit."

"Watch you're mouth. You're a young lady not some sailor."

I steadily walked down the stairs seeing the mess of people in my house. Becoming overwhelmed with the happiness that radiated off of everyone, I couldn't take it. I had to leave. Go. Escape. It hurt to damn much.

I walked out of the house into the frigid night. Not caring that it was cold.

Self-consciously I found myself in the clearing in the middle of the woods. I had just begun to walk and hadn't stopped. It was like something possessed me to come there.

A figure lurked in the darkness. The figure turned making its way towards me. I noticed who it was, Black. Did he have to be here now? Really?

"Oh you've turned into one of them also?" I asked, noticing how different he looked. Hair cropped and rippling muscles. Running around like he was better than everyone else, without a shirt in thirty degree weather. I gazed into his eyes a feeling running through my body. I felt as if I needed him. As if I was drawn to him.

I quickly dismissed the feeling.

"You know, I can understand Embry being dragged in. He's easy to influence. But you, I had higher expectations for you, Black." I said bitterly. Why the fuck did I care all of the sudden?

"What's that supposed to mean." He asked, a snarl ripping through his throat. _Really? Snarling?_ I thought.

"I'm disappointed. And now what's left of poor Quil. What the hell was wrong with your little girlfriend today?"

"What's wrong with you? Stop being..."

"What? A bitch?" I said, feeling a slight singe of hurt. Why did it matter, now? It never had before.

"That's not what I meant." He said solemnly, as if he knew he had hurt me.

"It's exactly what you meant! I heard you and your little girlfriend talking the other day." I yelled at him. He began shaking, but I continued not caring at all. "You thought it was more. Yeah it's a lot more. If only you knew what was really happening in my life you wouldn't be so quick to judge. If you want bitch, I'll be more than happy to give it to you! That's all you and your girlfriend seem to care about is how bitchy I am. Did you even stop to think it could be more? God, it's so much fucking more! Everyone's too blind to see it. Even the people I thought understood now are blinded, too." God! If only someone knew what had been going on. If only my mom believed me. If only Embry hadn't changed.

If only my life wasn't so fucked up!

Black continued to shake, furiously. He seemed to disappear he was shaking so dynamically. A growl split through his throat as I heard the tearing of clothes and the crunching of bones.

What was going on?

In the place of where Black was, a massive, russet wolf took his place that I hadn't seen before… but only in my nightmare. Was this the beginning of it?

Pain suddenly singed through my chest. I gazed down to see the fabric of my dress hanging on a thread. Blood leaked from three, deep, huge claw marks starting from my right shoulder ending over my heart.


	2. Chapter Six Through Ten

Chapter 6: Running and Darkness

I stood frozen in fear, numbly looking at my chest. I brought my left hand up to the wound pressing it against it, feeling it, seeing if it was real. I pulled my hand from my chest, starring at my blood plastered fingers. My hand shook as I examined it. I slowly curled my fingers in moving my hand to my side. I gradually pulled my head up, looking for the wolf. The wolf that was, Black.

The wolf, that was no where to be found.

_Wait, it's gone_, I thought. _That's it; it's just a figment of my imagination. I just drank too much at the party, is all. I must have wondered out here. I guess I talked to Black and then… No, Klaira he isn't a wolf, it isn't possible. He must have left. That explains that but… _I glanced down looking at my blood stained chest. _The marks they must've been a… a bear. Yes, that's it. Wait, shit, a bear._

I hiked up my dress and began running. The trees zoomed past me as I pushed myself faster through the woods. Hopelessly, trying to find my way back to the house.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour of running, I found the house. I slipped through the door, avoiding the gazes of others there. I sprinted up to my room, slamming the door behind me.

I leaned against the door breathing heavily, the pain of the marks now evident. The burning became intensified as I tried to catch my breath. I closed my eyes sliding down the door, pressing my hand over my erratic heart. I sat and began to think.

_I need to leave. I have to get away. _I pounced up, digging through my closet to find my backpack. I hastily emptied it, pouring the contents into my closet. I ran to my dresser throwing clothes and underwear onto my bed. I snatched my music player and headphones off of my desk throwing them onto my bed with my clothes. I pushed myself into my closet grabbing the box that held all of my money I had saved up from birthdays and holidays. I poured the money into the bottom of my bag, shoving my clothes on top. Then I placed my music player and headphones on top. I quickly dug my hand under my mattress pulling out my sketchbook. I shoved it in the bag before I zipped it up. Lastly, I placed my phone and its charger in the front pocket of the backpack. I ran over to my window, shoving it open, letting the bag float down to the ground.

I pulled off my sandals replacing them with my combat boots. I slung on a jacket in a attempt to hide the marks.

Caught in chaos I ran down stairs, slyly snatching my mother's keys. She was too engrossed in the party to know. Embry was gone like always. They won't know I'm gone until the morning, if not later.

I slipped out of the house heading towards my bag. I flung it over my shoulder, running towards my mother's car. I slid in, pushing the keys into the ignition. The car lit up, I pulled it into drive and heading out of the reservation. Out of La Push, out of Forks. Out of Washington.

I flew down the highway heading into Forks. I pressed my foot further down, letting the car go as fast as it would. I needed to go. I had to get away. Now and forever.

I hadn't the tiniest singe of remorse or regret for what I was doing. I couldn't feel anymore, all I felt was numbness.

I just kept driving, more like speeding down the highway. Surprisingly I made it through Forks without Chief Swan stopping me. It was unreal, I don't even have a license and I was speeding. Yet no one had stopped me.

I continued to drive, blazing by other cars in the darkness of the night. I made my way out of Washington State. I didn't stop I just kept going.

Finally the gas became no more and I made myself stop at a gas station. I pulled out my mother's card that I had also taken while she was engrossed in her party. Suddenly I realized that she'd know where I was, I shoved it back in my pocket of my jacket. I went up to the counter paying for my gas and my coffee.

"Excuse me," I said in a voice that didn't sound like mine. "Uh, I've been driving all night and haven't been paying attention to the signs. May I know where I am?"

"Yes, you are in Denio, Nevada."

"Holy… thanks." I paid and headed out of the filling station.

Holy fuck. I had been driving a lot longer than thought. I glanced at the clock as I sat back down in the car. I had been driving at least twelve hours. I pulled out of the station making my way down the highway. Heading wherever a full tank of gas, would take me.

I continued driving, drinking the last drops of my coffee. Suddenly the road led me into Salt Lake City, Utah. I stopped once more filing up, going to the bathroom, and buying more coffee to keep me going.

I sped out of the filling station as the day turned into night. I stifled a yawn as I kept driving; I had been going for two days straight.

My phone began buzzing again. I snatched it out of the pocket, seeing that Embry was calling once more. Again, I ignored the call. I slowly rolled down the window pitching the phone behind me.

I couldn't take it. Knowing that they cared about me. Knowing that they were worried for me. It had to stop, so I simply pitched the phone out the window. Goodbye, teenage lifeline.

Finally the wounds had stopped bleeding and dried into a crust on my skin. Normally, I would want to get clean but now I didn't care.

I looked down, trying hard to remember how all of it happened.

Suddenly, realization hit me.

It was a wolf. I hadn't had been drunk. I hadn't drunk anything at the party. Not one glass. Although, I normally would've. What the fuck was going on?

The pieces started fitting together as I continued to speed down the road. Still no one had stopped me. That was a little peculiar if you ask me.

After countless hours of driving I made my way from Utah across the border into New Mexico.

The moon finally disappeared, a new day breaking upon the horizon.

Still driving, I spotted a figure in the middle of the road. A figure, that looked like a man.

Surly I was hallucinating.

I had been up for two days straight and more. I was definitely hallucinating. I continued to drive thinking it he was just a figment of my imagination.

The man turned around looking at me.

I froze in fear of what I beheld.

_How could he still be alive? I thought he was dead! It's been two years, surly he was dead! Or in jail! Something! Holy fuck, holy fuck! _I frantically thought.

I clutched my throat as I gasped for air, making my way closer to him. Each of my scars seemed to open as the memories became flooding back. As if I was reliving the countless days I had received them, but the pain intensified. Not having the will to stop, I continued flying down the road.

Unable to move the car hit him. Or at least I thought it hit him. I heard a loud thud in the front of the car before it began soaring through the air.

I flipped thoroughly several times before hitting the ground with an immense amount of force.

The car began rolling over and over before stopping. Glass flung itself at me from the impact of the rolling.

Covered in glass and blood the car finally stopped tumbling.

As I took in a sharp breathe, before slipping into darkness, I couldn't erase the sharp, green eyes from my mind. Deep, forest green eyes, that haunted me.

Chapter 7: Oreos and Silence

Watching through the window in to the hospital room, her eyes slowly fluttered open, taking in her surroundings. Suddenly, a stinging sensation gripped at the base of my body, dragging me towards her. The dying need to be close to her, hold her in my arms.

But I couldn't. Not after what I had done to her. She'd never forgive me. Probably never talk to me again. I was such a monster. How could I do that to her?

Wait. Why did I care? I loved Bella. Not Klaira. I could never love such a heartless person. Why did I have to imprint on her? Why couldn't it have been Bella? Why not Bella? Why couldn't it have been anyone else?

Anyone but Klaira Call!

Maybe I could just break the imprint.

Yeah, I could get her not to like me. That shouldn't be that hard. Right? She'll refuse me anyway. Then I can go back to my…

"Sir, she's awake now. She's not talking. Maybe you can get her to. She seems in shock. Hopefully seeing a familiar face will take her mind off of things." The nurse said in a friendly tone.

"When can she leave?" I asked, hoping it would be soon. The faster I got her home the better.

"Oh, she's free to leave now if she wants."

I walked into the room, looking at her body on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked hoping for an answer. All she did was glance over in the other direction. "So, they told me I can get you out of this joint. Ready to leave?" Still she said nothing.

I watched as she pulled out the IV and flung her legs over the side of the bed. Walking over to her bag she pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

She didn't even push me out so she could change. In a gentlemanly way I turned around glancing out the hospital window.

"Ready?" I asked, hearing the zipper of her backpack close. With my accelerated hearing I herd her sling it over her shoulder and walk out the door.

I came up behind her grabbing her arm to stop her. She stopped, glaring at me, yanking her arm away. "Hold on speedy Gonzales we need to check out. And the Rabbit is the other way." I said pulling her back towards the check out. She lifted her arm to punch me and I quickly released her. "Okay, I get it. No touchy."

We walked in the cold morning heading to my Rabbit.

"So are you hungry?" I asked hoping she would talk, some. Still nothing. She snaked her hand into her bag pulling out a music player with headphones. She slid the headphones on, blaring music into her ears. Hurriedly I pulled out of the parking lot, heading down the road back home.

I watched as her expression changed from her normal hard one into pissed off. She angrily pushed the button to roll down the window. Taking the headphones in her hand she viciously threw them out the window.

"What's the matter?" Still no answer. "Headphones break?" I looked at her from across the car. She had a depressed look upon her face. "Hey, don't get upset I'll get you some new ones." Someone loved their music.

I pulled my car into the parking lot of Target. "You stay here, okay? I'll go get some food and new headphone. Stay right here." She gave me a disgusted look as if saying 'I'm not a dog.' "I'll be right back."

I headed out of the target, Oreos and peanut butter in hand, with her headphones. I gazed into the car to see that she wasn't there. Well shit! I placed the things in the car and followed her sent. I pursued it all the way to the edge of the building. Finding her with a cigarette in hand.

"Klaira." I demanded for her attention. She snapped her head in my direction, blowing out her intake in my face. Then I snapped. "I told you to stay in the car. Why the fuck are you smoking? It'll kill you." I watched as her eyes changed into a dark, blackish green. She pulled the small cigarette to her lips once again. I snatched it from her hand throwing it against the ground. She pulled another from her hand, placing it in her mouth bringing the lighter to it. I yanked that one from her mouth, pulling the lighter to the ground crushing it underneath my feet. I opened her hand spilling the others onto the ground. She glared up at me, begging to hit my chest with her wrapped hands.

I turned walking away from her. "Come on lets go." I didn't hear her start walking. I turned back around looking at her. She raised her right hand flipping me off. "That's it Klaira." I hastily walked over to her, grabbing her around her waist pulling her over my shoulder. Repetitively she began hitting my back. Hurting her more than it did me.

I flung her back over my shoulder. Pushing her resistant body into the car.

"Dammit, Klaira! Do you think I wanted to bring you back? I know you don't want to go, but so be it. Stop running from all of you're damn problems! Do you think that's going to solve anything? It won't! Now suck it up and sit your ass in this car. Got it?" I demanded, as she crossed her hands over her chest glaring out the front of the window. "Here's your damn headphones." I said flinging them at her.

God! She was so difficult! Why the hell did I have to imprint on her?

I continued driving down the road heading into the depths of Nevada. She stifled a yawn as the sun began setting.

"Tired?" I asked. Still she wasn't talking. It had been a day and I had tried everything to get her to speak.

Yesterday, I had tried to lighten the mood by making a joke. I had shoved a bunch of Oreos with peanut butter in my mouth. I asked her if she knew how Oreos got their name. She didn't answer but I continued to talk. I told her that when they were trying to figure out the name, the boss went around asking the workers what they thought. He asked one worker and the worker said, 'I don't know'. It ended up sounding like Oreo because his mouth was stuffed with them. She still sat there. I asked if she got it, saying she was supposed to laugh. She gave me a look of hatred as she stuffed in another Oreo in my mouth. Clearly she wasn't pleased by the comment.

I pulled the car over on a small curb, heading into a small bead in breakfast. The same one my parents had stayed in on there honeymoon. I necessarily didn't want to bring her here. She was tired, I was too. We needed to stop and rest.

I walked in behind her, up to the counter.

"Yes," the lady asked in a cheery voice.

"May we have a room please?"

"Are you, newlyweds? If so you will get the newlywed discount and a continental breakfast in the morning." I took a second to consider the thought. Seeing as Klaira's mom was buying the room, I might as well give her a discount.

"Yes, we are." I said grabbing Klaira's hand pulling her closer to me. She dug her nails into my hand letting me know her distaste in what I had just done.

"Well congratulations!" She said with a smile. "I'll get you all set for the night. It's quite chilly out. Where are you two from?"

"Washington. Could we just get our room please? She's very tired; we've been traveling all day." Damn that chick was annoying.

"Oh, yes Mr…"

"Black."

"Sorry, I'm right on it Mr. Black."

We walked up the stairs to our room. I opened the door saying, "Shouldn't I carry you over the threshold, or something seeing as we are newlyweds?"

She glared up at me, punching me in my stomach, pushing her way through the door.

Hastily, I headed into the bathroom making sure there were no windows. The night before, she had tried to escape. This time I made sure that wasn't even an option.

She hadn't slept at all last night, meaning I hadn't either. It was as if she was too afraid to sleep. As if something was coming for her. She was petrified.

I walked out of the bathroom, knowing she would want to take a shower before she went to sleep.

She lugged her body into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. I herd her clothes fall to the ground as she started the shower. She stepped in, letting the water hit her.

I sat and waited for her return. Little was heard from the bathroom. It was hard to concentrate on what was going on with so much noise filling my head.

I sat and waited for an hour. By the time it became an hour and a half I became suspicious.

"Klaira," I asked, knocking on the door. No reply. Well, hell what did I expect she wasn't talking? "Are you okay?" _Stupid, stop asking questions you aren't going to get the answer to_, I thought.

I continued to knock on the door, hoping she would turn off the shower and come out the door. Still nothing.

I knew she was in there; there was no way for her to escape. I heard shallow, heavy breaths coming from her. As if she was asleep.

Finally I broke the door of its hinges, to find her curled up in the corner of the shower. Her knees were brought to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs. The water ran off her body, scorching it. I had to get her out of the water. It was too hot for her to handle. The steam seemed to cloud everywhere around her.

Her body was worn down, weak. What had happened to her? Gazing at her I noticed an array of scars formed on her body. The ones, from the crash. The ones, from the night she had tried to kill herself. The ones, that pained me the most to look at.

The ones, I had caused.

Then the ones, I had no clue what they were from. Aged and cruel.

Delicately carved into her left hip was a tattoo. Anna hadn't been lying. She actually had one done. But why?

I shut off the water, pulling her exhausted body into my chest. There was something behind those scars that had caused her all this distress. I carried her beat body into the room, softly placing her on the bed.

I pulled the covers up to her chin, tenderly moving a wet curl from her delicate face.

Finding a place on the floor, I sat, watching her.

She seemed so peaceful, venerable. Tremendously tiny and breakable. Never would Klaira Call look so delicate, like a flower.

She was never like that, or so I thought.

Chapter 8: Openings and Fixes

Screams emerged from her mouth, jolting me from what little sleep I had fallen into. I crawled to her side as her screams began swelling. They started as small whimpers turning into blood curdling screams.

"Klaira," I softly said, placing my hand upon her twisting side. "Klaira, wake up." I demanded, trying to pull her away from her horrible nightmare.

She jerked awake, fear crossing her normally hard face. Still dazed by her nightmare she hit my hand away, crawling to the edge of the bed. Getting as close to the wall as she could, cowering from me.

"Klaira, it's me Jake. There's no reason to be scared. It was just a nightmare. Not real. I'm real," I let out my hand to show her. "I'm not going to hurt you." Well, anymore that is. I already had caused her enough pain. I couldn't live with what I did to her. How could I be such a monster to her? No wonder she was cowering away from me. I couldn't blame her.

Surprisingly, she came closer to me, grabbing my hand in hers. She ran her free hand across my face, as if to check and see if I was real. I watched as her face changed from terror into something completely different. Something I never would've thought I would see from her. A completely different side of her.

Hurt.

She pulled me onto the bed with her, opening the covers to let me in. I faced her examining this new side I had never seen. She wasn't heartless she was troubled. Clouding her hurt by her bitchy attitude. That was now evident; something had caused her to turn this way. I needed to figure out what had caused it so I could fix it. Help her. Make her whole.

I pulled her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her small body. Not having any second thoughts about it. It didn't even cross my mind that I was half naked and she was completely. It didn't seem to cross hers either. She didn't seem hesitant about it almost as if she was welcoming it. I would too if everyone had been avoiding me. She was seeking comfort and that's what I was to make sure I gave.

Her cold breath grazed across my chest, cooling my high temperature body. She buried her head into my chest as if she was aching for the sudden closeness. Lord only knew how much she needed it.

I heard small noises coming from Klaira, as something wet touched my skin. The small wetness went sliding down the side of my chest, soon disappearing from the heat. Then realization hit me. Klaira Call was…

Crying.

In a matter of minutes she soon fell back asleep in my arms. A deep, exhausted sleep, which she needed desperately.

I craned my neck down, forming my lips in a thin line, pressing them onto her damp head. I locked my arms around her, pulling her tighter to me, as if it were possible. I pressed my head softly on top of hers, falling into a nice, restful sleep.

I awoke a few minutes before she did, watching her still sleep. She craned her neck up looking at me. Her face looked soft, a change for her. Just as her face changed it quickly went hard, her eyes going near black.

She began hitting me pushing me from her. Just as her rage began she went into a mode of horror. She pushed herself into the corner, pulling her legs into her chest. As if it was a defense mechanism of hers.

"Klaira," I asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinched away and once again began hitting me.

I heard a noise coming from down the hall. Quickly I pushed Klaira's hands off of me saying, "Klaira stop someone is coming. Pretend you are asleep, okay."

A look of hatred crossed her face as she reluctantly did what I asked. I slipped out of the bed before a knock was heard at the door. I hesitantly opened it to find the lady from the front desk, holding a tray with food, a cherry smile placed on her face.

"Did you sleep alright?" She asked, still portraying her happy mood.

"Fine. May we just have the breakfast please?" I asked, trying not to sound like she was annoying the hell out of me.

"But of course. How's you're wife? Did she sleep well? There were some complaints of screaming coming from here. Is…" Quickly I snatched the tray from her hands, slamming the door in her face. Good God!

I slowly walked over to the bed, setting down the tray. Klaira sat up giving me an amused look.

"What?" I asked, knowing I wasn't going to get an answer. Nor was I expecting one. She shook her head, slightly rolling her eyes. She emerged out of the bed, grabbing a piece of cantaloupe that was in a crescent shape, placed on the tray.

She moved over to her bag, grabbing her clothes out of it. She didn't seem to care that she was naked in front of me. That was a little peculiar if you asked me. Taking in every inch of her body, she turned looking at me. She cocked her eyebrow up, shaking her head once more.

I quickly diverted my eyes soon becoming engrossed in the food.

"Want some?" I asked glancing at what little food was left. She walked up from behind me grabbing the last piece of cantaloupe. "Hey! I wanted that." I said in a jokingly voice. A devious smirk crossed her face as she crossed back to her backpack, talking a bite of the fruit.

We continued zooming down the secluded highway. It had been two hours since we had left the bed and breakfast. I decided now would be a good time to bring up the tattoo.

"Klaira," she snapped her head in my direction. "What does your tattoo mean?" I asked in an attempt to get her to talk. Little did I know it would be my last.

"The feather symbolizes freedom to me." A familiar voice said, the voice I had missed.

"Why?" I asked relishing in the fact she was talking.

"Because of… I don't want to talk about it. Please don't tell my brother." She pleaded, I already knew not to. It would be hard to hide these last few days from him. Sure he knew I had come to get her, but it didn't mean he would have to know about what had happened. I wasn't going to think about it one bit, I didn't want things to turn out like they had when I accidentally phased in front of her. It was a wonder she hadn't brought it up.

"I wasn't going to."

"How did you find me, Jacob?"

"Well, the hospital called… Wait did you just call me Jacob?"

"Just tell me how the hell you found me, Black."

"But I liked Jacob. The hospital called your mothers credit card company seeing as that was the only thing you had on you. The credit card company called your mother. Then she asked me to come after you, hoping I could get you. She knew you wouldn't listen to her, or Embry. What happened in the crash?"

Quickly she looked out the window pulling her earphones from her backpack, shoving them in her ears. _Great just when she opened up to me she has to close herself off again,_ I thought_. Just great! Dammit!_

After moments of silence, and her music blaring into her ears, songs that I didn't recognize, one I knew came on. I barley caught the beginning before it shut off. She ripped the earphones out, grumbling to herself.

"Damn thing has to die!" She harshly said, shoving the music player back in her backpack.

I reached into the console pulling out a mix CD I had made. I shoved it in the stereo placed in my car. I turned it to track four, turning up the sound. Coldplay's Fix You began playing through the speakers, filling the car with its sound.

Klaira's head snapped over to me, a shocked look crossing her face.

"How the hell did you know I was listing to that song?" She asked, astonished.

"I'm just good like that." I said in a cocky tone. She reached over hitting my shoulder, but more in a playful way than a hateful one.

She placed her hand down on the console, leaving it there throughout the rest of the song.

Coming to the last part of the song I turned looking at her. Starring into her forest green eyes.

"… and ignite your bones. And I will try to…"- I released my right hand from the steering wheel, finding hers on the console. She didn't pull away, but gave me a hopeful look as I finished the song. -"Fix you."

Chapter 9: Pushed and Returns 

My eyes fluttered open as a firm hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Klaira, we're home. Wake up." I heard Black say through my waking state.

"I am awake. Do I have to go?" I pleadingly asked, not wanting to face my family.

"Yes, Klaira you need to stop running from everything and face your problems." He did have a point, but he didn't understand how it was going to be.

"But…" I tried to plead but only was stopped.

"Come on, lets go." He said, pulling me towards the outside. Towards my intervention. I couldn't do this.

"Please," I implored once more before he opened the door pushing me in ahead of him.

I stood waiting for a happy family reunion. I waited for my mother and brother to run up to me, hugging and kissing me. I waited for a parade, a party, something. But I got nothing.

I craned up my head to look at Black giving him a concerned look. Hastily he got in front of me, as if he were to protect me.

"Come on," he ushered grabbing my arm. This time I didn't tug away, something was up. He knew just as I did. We walked towards the hallway, suddenly he stopped.

I peeked around his side seeing why the abrupt halt.

"Mom?" I questioned. It looked nothing like her. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun, all of the color drained from her face. Her eyes are what killed me the most, red and puffy. She had been crying, but surly not for me. I was fine.

I made my way around Black, letting my arm release from his grasp. I walked towards her opening my arms, bringing her in for a hug. Immediately she shoved me away.

"What the hell?" I asked, my bitchy attitude coming back almost instantaneously.

"Get away, Klaira. Go to your room." She said in a voice that didn't sound like hers at all. My heart was set ablaze, quickly I ran up the stairs, slamming my door. But I didn't go in. I crouched down, listing the best I could to my mother's and Black's conversation.

"He's been gone. Ever since the day you left to get her. He didn't even come home late like he usually does. Sam even came to tell me he wasn't with him. He seemed so concerned." My mother said in an alien voice, sounding nothing like her.

"Mrs. Call, I… Why did he leave?" Jake seemed at a loss for words.

"He got really upset when I told him you went to get Klaira."

"Why would that upset him?" Somewhere hidden in Blacks tone he knew the answer to his question.

"I don't know Jacob, I don't know. Will you go see if Klaira is okay? I can't bear the sight of her right now."

Quickly I went into my room, as quietly as possible shutting the door. I ran over to my window, opening it and crawled out to sit on the roof. I heard the door open and shut behind me; suddenly I felt a presence behind me.

"May I join you?" Black asked.

"Only if you can fit through the window." I had meant for the comment to sound jokingly but instead it sounded harsh. What else would I expect it to sound like? I watched as he crawled through the small window, somehow maneuvering his way through.

"I know you were listing to our conversation."

"What? How the fuck did you know?"

"Super hearing." I gave him a look, he's no super hero.

"So you don't know where Embry is?" He shook his head. "Well my mom can't bear the sight of me, and my brother has taken after me and ran off. I thought I was the one supposed to be being influenced. Not doing the influencing."

"It'll be okay, Klaira." He reached out to pull me near.

"Don't Black." I scalded. "Nothing happened over the last days. Nothing at all. Just go." I felt my heart almost collapse as I said the words. But I had to, I needed to be alone.

"Klaira…"

"No, just go see your little girlfriend or something. Go make amends with her. I know you want to. Just fucking get out of my sight. Now." I couldn't look at him he reminded me too much of Embry. Reminding me too much of what I had done to lose my brother. Reminding me too much of the hurt I had caused my mother. It was my entire fault. Why did I have to fuck up this time? Why now?

I heard him leave from the roof. In a moments time I heard his car start up and pull off.

I let in a sharp breath as I fought the urge to cry. To cry for what I had caused. To cry for the hurt I had inflicted. To cry for me because of how messed up I am.

But why would I cry for myself? For feeling bad for myself? No, that wasn't it. For my brother being gone? Somewhat. For pushing, Black away? Bingo! That was it.

Why did I care about Black all of the sudden? Why did I care that I had pushed him away. Maybe because he had been there when no one else was? But that didn't seem logical. I had gotten along fine without anyone for the last month and a half. Why the sudden longing for him?

Continuously lost in thought, I sat upon the roof, not even noticing the impending storm.

Thunder roared as the rain began falling upon me. I didn't have the urge to care; I just sat in the same spot. I didn't care that I was going to get sick. Why the hell did it matter? Nothing did anymore. I let the rain slide down my body, becoming soaked in a matter of seconds.

Soon fatigue engulfed me as I feel asleep on the roof, curled into a ball.

Two burning arms wrapped around me, pulling me from the frigid night. Away from the roof and into my room. I quickly opened my eyes, squirming from the arms of whoever was holding me.

I feel to the floor backing up to the wall that had become wet from leaving open my window.

"K calm down." Only one person called me K. My face lit up as I sprung from my current position on the floor. I lunged towards him wrapping my arms around him. Almost catching him off balance, in a matter of seconds he returned the embrace.

"Em…" I said chocking on the words.

"Shh," he soothed, running his hand over my back. I pulled away looking up at him.

"Em, why did you run? Don't turn into me. You don't want to be me. Why Em, why?" I stifled on the words fighting back the urge to cry. I didn't want to cry in front of him.

"K it's all okay. I don't want to turn into you, you're a girl. I most definitely don't want to deal with what you do." I slapped him as he shuttered. "Looks like someone missed me."

"Me, ha no what are you talking about? Have you seen mom? She's worried sick. I mean I actually think she's sick. She loves you so much Em."

"She loves you too, K."

"No, Em she doesn't. She couldn't bear seeing me today. You wanna know why, because I was the cause of you running away. If she loved me she would've listened two years ago. You were the only one who listened." I felt my throat swell up at the thought of what had happened the day I crashed.

"Klaira, why bring that up? It's in the past, forget it."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because Em…" I couldn't finish as the tears streamed down my face. Great I was crying.

"What, Klaira? Tell me now!"

"He's not dead! He's back! He's coming for me, Em. He's coming, Em!"

Chapter 10: Hurt and Habits

I stared at the door from my current position on the bed. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go to school and face everyone. I didn't want to go down stairs for that matter. I jumped as Embry barged through my door.

"Go away." I grumbled as I feel back onto my bed, pulling the covers over my head.

"Get up, Klaira. You have to go to school." Embry said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Says who?"

"I do."

"Well in that case I'm not going." I flipped over, planting my face into my pillow.

"Yes you are." He reached under the covers grabbing my legs, beginning to pull me from the bed. I latched onto the headboard hoping I wouldn't be taken out of my comfort zone.

"Fuck off, Embry." I snarled, seriously about to get pissed. "Do you not remember anything that happened last night? Anyways, you skipped school for two weeks to hang with Sam and his fucking cult. Just leave me alone."

"That doesn't mean anything. You can't just sit here and waist away. You need to keep up a normal routine. You can't fall into a paranoid state. You can't just sit here waiting for the day he comes back. You'll ruin your life."

"It already is ruined. Anyways, I can stay home. I'm sick. Can't you tell?"

"It's a little cold." He said brushing it off as if it was nothing. I shot up in the bed to show him my face.

"It's not little." I coughed out.

"You look like shit." As he laughed, I reached out hitting him on the shoulder. He didn't seem phased by it one bit.

"Really Sherlock? I hadn't noticed." I let out a loud sneeze as I finished the comment.

"Well, you can't take care of mom."

"She's not sick."

"She's not physically, but mentally."

"You mean she's crazy. She's always been that way."

"Klaira!" He scolded getting a firm tone, I had never herd before.

"Whatever. I suppose you're going to take care of her?"

"And you."

"That's a disaster waiting to happen."

"Shut up. Go get in the shower. You need the heat."

"Okay, mommy." I said in a mocking tone as he left my room.

I slid in the hot, steamy shower, letting the water run across my body.

I gazed down at my chest, seeing the long scars that ran across my chest. I began thinking about the night I had received them.

So, I was talking to Black and then he began getting really pissed. He began shaking. Then I heard the tearing of clothes and cracking of bones. Then taking Black's place was a big russet… wolf.

Holy fuck! I hadn't been hallucinating. Jacob was in fact a wolf. The same wolf that had caused these marks. Meaning those others that I had seen when I ran after Embry in the woods were people too. They were werewolves. No shape shifters like in the legends. So they were true. Holy shit!

I slipped and suddenly found myself on the floor.

"Klaira, are you okay?" Embry asked from behind the door of my bathroom.

No I wasn't okay. I had just found out that there were shape shifters. Wait a second… that wolf that looked at me like Embry did. That wolf was Embry!

"Klaira, are you alive?" Embry nagged on.

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm fine. I just fell, is all."

Everything was not okay. I was not fine. I just found out that my brother is a giant wolf. But surly they didn't mean to hurt people. But Black had hurt me.

No the wolves were supposed to protect us against the cold ones. Wait a second. The cold ones were real also. Meaning there were vampires.

Great I wonder what other supernatural beings there are. Ha, maybe I'm a witch and I just don't know it. That would explain my witchy attitude.

Vampires and Werewolves couldn't be real.

Could they?

I'm just going insane, is all. That's it I'm just delusional. Yep, now who do I need to beg to go into a mental institution? Hum… Black would do it. I should go ask him. And while I'm at it I can declare that he's a giant wolf and my brother is too.

Yep, I'm completely delusional.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my soaked body. Embry was right, the steam did help. I could somewhat breathe. I quickly pulled my hair into a braid, letting it fall down my back.

I walked down the stairs to hear two familiar voices of men, having a heated discussion. I quickly crouched down hoping I was unseen. I watched through the railings as my brother spoke at Black in the doorway.

"I don't care. You know what you did to her. You've hurt her in more than one way. You can't keep doing this. She doesn't need it right now. Either decide to break it, or go through with it." My brother yelled at Black. They couldn't possibly be talking about me. Could they? And what did they mean by breaking it, or going through it. What the hell?

"Embry it wasn't like I planned it to happen."

"You should've controlled yourself." Wait control himself? He couldn't possibly know about when Black attacked me. No, he would've asked about it. Or something. But then again he could have his reasoning.

"You know she's not the only one that has problems. Do you think I wanted to be with her? Do you think I wanted to run after her? Do you think I wanted to be this? None of us asked for it. Do you see what it's done to me? To us? You know none of this would be a problem if you hadn't avoided her in the begging weeks of your transition. No, probably not because that's just the way she is. You never thought to change her. Did you?"

I was down the stairs in an instant, standing right in front of Black. My eyes went black as I stared into his eyes. I was furious how, dare he talk to my brother like that.

"Don't you dare talk to him like that! Why the hell would you ever talk to him like that? You two are best friends, brothers. Yeah I have problems but there mine. Not his. He has nothing to do with them. If anything he's helped me through them. What's happened to you is this the cause of you're little girlfriend? She's brain washed you. Hasn't she. Turned you against him. What the fuck happened to you? What happened to you that I knew a couple of days ago?"

"Bella I…" How the fuck, did he get me confused with _her_? What the fuck was this guy's problem?

"I'm not Bella! Go. Get the fuck out of here! I thought you were different, but I see clearly now. I'm glad you don't want to be with me. I don't wa…"

Just before I could finish it a hand was clamped over my mouth. I kept speaking though. I was enraged. I wanted to run after Black as he left. I wanted to tackle him. Hit him. Hurt him just like he had hurt me.

I violently turned around to face my brother. His face almost looked hurt, but that wasn't it.

"Why did you do that, Klaira? I can fight my own battles." He asked in a calm voice.

"Why did you stop me from speaking? Huh? Answer that."

"You don't understand how much that would hurt him."

"Hurt him? He doesn't have a soul. If anything he's hurt you. Why do you even care if it hurts him?"

"Like you said he's my brother. He really hasn't hurt me. He's hurt you, Klaira." I watched as he placed a firm hand on my chest that was heaving heavily up and down. I glanced down at the scars.

"You know?" I asked dumbfounded. He nodded his head.

"But he hasn't just hurt you there. He's hurt you there to." He said pointing to my heart. It tugged as if it were to give out in a matter of seconds.

Quickly I slapped his hand away.

"No, he hasn't hurt me there. If he had that would mean I would have to feel something for him. I have never felt that way towards him. Never." I turned heading towards the door to head out into the impending storm. I needed to get away, drink, smoke, something. I needed to clear my head. I turned once more around saying to Embry, "Next time don't try and fight my battles. I can do that myself."

"Jacob has hurt your heart. You're not going to admit it but it's true. You do feel for him. Stop denying it, your trying to take on everything by yourself. You can't win the war on your own."

I left slamming the door behind me. As soon as I was out of his sight, I bent over gasping for air. He was right. He always was.

Black had hurt me. I didn't know how but I felt it. I felt it worse than I had ever felt anything in my life.

I felt my heart detach and fall into my gut as a sick feeling rang through my body. Why did I feel this way?

I needed something to cloud the feeling. Immediately I headed off to my favorite drinking spot. Where I could mask the feeling.

The feeling would never go away, no matter how much I drank that night. Drinking couldn't fix it like it fixed everything else. Nothing would fix it but…

Me. I was the only thing that could.


	3. Chapter Eleven Through Fifteen

Chapter 11: Denial and Setbacks

"Embry, will you stop slamming shit?" I said through gritted teeth, as he slammed the drawer. I flinched once more placing a hand on my erratically pounding head.

"Your fault." He said heading towards the fresh brewing coffee.

"No it's not. It's his, and Black's."

"Dammit Klaira!" He slammed a coffee cup down, shattering it. The shards were sent flying all over the kitchen. I hissed, wrapping two hands around my head. He began yelling. Great, that helped so much. "Stop, blaming your habits on others. They have nothing to do with it."

"They caused me to do it."

"No they didn't. You made that choice. Not them. You made the choice to do what you did. To say those things that you did. Why can't you be a normal girl and cry?"

"I don't cry! Crying is for the weak. I didn't have a choice of him coming and doing what he did to me. That was his."

"That doesn't mean anything. You can't keep living in the past. Bottling up everything shows weakness, too."

"It's not the past if the past is returning. I don't bottle things up."

"Klaira, we'll deal with that when it comes. Now listen to me. You need to stop!"

"Stop yelling." I faintly said grasping my head.

"I'm not the one hung over. Your choices remember." He said, a smirk planted on his face.

"Then it's my choice to stop." I said gulping in a deep breath.

"You mean you will?" I watched as his face lit up showing a hopeful expression. He must really hate that I drink.

"Yes. I just want help." I pleaded.

"Klaira, I can't help you unless you're willing to help yourself."

"I am Embry. Isn't that the point?" I yelled. "Shit." I said, once more grabbing my head.

"Well, yeah but you don't have that much self respect. You rather do it for someone else than yourself. What about smoking?"

"Embry I can't give it up all in one day."

"You actually can and I can help you, if you want?"

"Would you?"

"Why do you think I'm offering?"

"Oh. What has mom decided my punishment is?"

"I don't know." He said giving me a sly look, slamming the cupboard once more.

"Dammit Embry." I winced, slamming my eyes shut. The pain seemed inevitable. "Can I go for a walk?"

"So you're asking now?"

"So can I?" I said, forcing a smile. "Please."

"No."

"What the hell?"

"Only if you want to get sicker and apologize to Jacob."

"I'm not sick." Just as I said the comment I let out a loud sneeze. Embry looked at me to prove the point he just made. "I'm not apologizing to him; he should apologize to you first."

"Klaira."

"What it's true. Is it not? I have no intention of ever talking to him again."

"Klaira, you can't just say that."

"Yes I can, Embry." I said hopping down from the counter. "And why wouldn't I?"

"I can't explain."

"Whatever." I stood by him, snatching the coffee from his grasp heading up to my room.

I pulled out my sketchbook from its position, still in my backpack. Moments later there was a mess of papers on the floor. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't get all the thoughts out of my head. I ached for a drink to numb the feelings.

Everything was so conflicting. Maybe fresh air would help.

Quickly I grabbed my jacket, slipping on my combat boots. I headed out my window. Hanging from the roof I let my grasp release heading for the ground. I landed with a thud; hastily I scanned my surrounding making sure no one was around.

I began walking heading anywhere my feet would lead me. I couldn't stand being in that house. I couldn't be around my mom who wouldn't even look at me. It hurt too much to be around Embry, he was too loving, too forgiving. It seemed as if he let everything go from yesterday. He cared too much about me. I couldn't stand it knowing I could never repay that love.

I continued walking, not knowing where I was to go.

After an hour of walking I stopped in a cave. I just sat and thought. I thought about everything that was going on in my life.

Soon I came to the conclusion that I probably should apologize to Black. I didn't really want to; it seemed as if I had to, though. But then again he's probably with his girlfriend. But that didn't mean I couldn't go and find…

"Black? What part of go away don't you get?" I asked as he came through the cave.

"Klaira." He said heading towards me.

"Oh so I'm Klaira today?" I said giving him a look, clenching my jaw as I stood up heading towards the mouth of the cave, away from him.

"Klaira I…"

"You what? Huh?"

"Look I'm so…"

"Don't talk to me unless you've talked to Embry first."

"You really care about him don't you?"

"No shit."

"Klaira," he said coming towards me, touching my arm. Swiftly I was out of the cave and in the pouring rain.

"Go away."

"Why do you keep pushing me away? I want to help you." I watched as he came out of the cave towards me.

"Help me. I don't need your help. I'm just fine."

"No, Klaira, actually you aren't." He towered over me, looking down in my eyes. "You keep telling everyone you are. You aren't. You're troubled, screwed up and you desperately need help." He was being brutally honest. Even though I hated it, I kind of needed it. "You can keep denying it and running from it. But you don't know that I see it and I want to help." He softly moved a piece of my wet hair away from my eyes. "Let someone help you."

"Don't touch me. Did you not comprehend that from our little road trip?"

"Klaira, you need to stop pretending like some of those things didn't happen. They did."

"Nothing happened. Nothing! I'm perfectly fine. I most certainly don't need any of your help. I can manage on my own." I turned walking off, or at least attempting. He clutched my arm yanking me around. "Let go of me." I demanded.

"Let me help you."

"No. Now let me go." I tugged on my arm only to have his grip tightened. "Now. Dammit!"

"No, Klaira. Stop being…"

"What a bitch? Insensitive? Heartless?"

"Klaira, stop it."

"Or what? You're going to wolf out again and cause me more pain!" I hadn't meant for the words to come out, but they did. And once they did there was no stopping them. His grasp went limp on my arm, I quickly turned heading back to my house. Leaving him in the pouring rain.

I walked in slamming the door behind me, not caring that Embry now knew that I had snuck out. I walked past him heading towards the stairs.

"Klaira, great you're now sicker."

"I don't care." I said as a mass of coughing spasms attacked my lungs.

"Klaira, what's wrong?" He asked concerned as I headed up the first couple of steps. I hated how he always knew something was wrong with me. Stupid big-brother's sixth sense.

I turned around looking at Embry, trying to find his eyes. In a dead, quiet voice I stuttered out, "Why did you have to be a wolf?"

Chapter 12: Repetition and Realization

"Klaira, what do you mean?" He asked heading up the stairs towards me.

"What? You think I didn't know?" I asked staring intently at him. I was sure that he did know from what he pointed out yesterday.

"No. I knew you knew. It was just a matter of time before you brought it up. I'm surprised that you hadn't brought it up sooner. But what you said, what did you mean by that?"

"I mean if you weren't everything would be different. Everything would be better."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Klaira, if there weren't wolves then who would protect you, mom, and all of La Push from vampires."

"I don't know. But if you weren't everything would be so much better."

"What makes you say that?"

"Not just you, but any wolves in general."

"Klaira, did you see Jake?"

"No." I lied through my teeth.

"Liar." He pointed out. "Talk to me. What happened?"

"Can we go to my room?"

"Sure."

We swiftly walked up the stairs and into the privacy of my room. I sat on the bed shoving the papers away to make a spot for him.

"I don't know why I feel the way that I do."

"Tell me what happened. Klaira, I can help you."

"Ha, you too."

"What?"

"I went for a walk and found myself in a cave. Black came in and well I was a bitch. Like always. He tried to apologize. I told him not to talk to me unless he's talked to you. He tried talking to me again and I told him to go away. He asked why I kept pushing him away then he said he wanted to help me. I told him I didn't need his help that I was fine. He told me to stop pretending everything was okay and face my problems. Then he brutally pointed out that I was troubled and messed up. That I needed help. He told me to let someone help me. I told him I didn't want his help that I could manage on my own. I tried leaving but he caught me and made me stay. I told him to let me go, he said let me help. I told him no, demanding for him to let me go once more. He said no then said stop being. I cut in and said a bitch, heartless, insensitive. He told me to stop it. Then I pulled something I never wanted to pull. I asked him or what and then said the meanest thing I think I could say to someone." I couldn't find the words to finish I didn't know why the sudden change. I felt almost heartbroken. But I didn't love Black.

Did I?

"What did you say to him, Klaira?" Embry asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked up from my lap, glancing at Embry.

"I said, 'you going to wolf out again and cause me more pain.' Embry…"

I was suddenly pulled into his chest. Why all the sudden did I care? I needed answers. Embry pulled back holding my head in his hands. He swiftly whipped under my eyes, I looked at his thumbs to see something wet. I was crying.

"I guess I'm a normal girl after all."

"I never said you weren't normal. See we're making a lot of progress. You've cried and opened up all in one day."

"Nobody knows about the crying. Got it? Embry, please help. I don't know what to do."

"Listen. You're not going to believe this or want to hear this but I'm going to say it anyway. Jacob wants to help you because he cares for you. And the reason you are having such conflicting emotions is because you care for him to. Weather you'll admit it or not you do. The way you got upset yesterday when he called you Bella is because you are jealous of her."

"I am…"

"Klaira, I'm not finished. Yes Klaira you are. You get so upset when he mentions her because you do care for him. You can't stand that his affection is placed towards someone else. I'm not lying I'm telling the truth. He does care for you he just has a hard time because of his infatuation over Bella."

"So he can have her."

"Klaira. This is what I mean. This is how you face everything. You're never willing to try. Or express what you are really feeling."

"What am I really feeling then?" I had no clue everything was so conflicting. So confusing.

"Only you can answer that. I have a good idea though."

"What?"

"You love him. If you search long enough in yourself you'll find that it's true. That's what all the conflicting feelings towards him are." He was right. He always was.

"But that doesn't mean a damn thing. What am I supposed to do? Go claim that I love him? That doesn't happen in this world. We're not in a fairy tale, Embry."

"It's your choice. You need to do something. Don't wait for him. You need to apologize. Weather you like it or not. It's what you need to do."

"But…"

"But what? It's hard. I know. It's extremely hard for you to express how you feel. It's hard for you to apologize. I know, Klaira. There's many a time you've done stuff to me that you needed to apologize for but I dismissed it. I knew how hard it was for you. I still do. But the thing is he doesn't. If you want things to work you're going to have to make yourself venerable. But not too venerable. Understand?"

"Yes. I'll do it because…"

"Because?"

"I love him." I said as realization hitting me like a ton of bricks. I was falling for him. Not in love with him, but loved him. It felt unexplainable; I guess that's just how love goes. "Embry, I'll be back." I said as I exited my room heading down stairs. I ran down the trail, heading towards Black's house. I was in fact insane.

Before knocking on the door my heart fluttered in my chest. I had never felt this way before. It was pure insanity. Swiftly I brought my shaking hand to the door. I sat and waited trying to catch my breath from all the running I did.

The door creaked open, revealing Billy behind it.

"Hello Klaira." He said in his deep rough voice. "How may I help you?"

"Is Bla… Jacob home?" I asked stuttering on his name.

"I'm afraid not. He's gone into town to see Bella." At the mention of her name I felt my heart drop. All of the hope I had built up to tell him I'm sorry came crashing down in an instant.

"I see." I said in a small voice, feeling my face drop.

"Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?"

"No, that won't be necessary." I turned heading out into the darkness of the night. I slowly made my way back to my house. I opened the door, passing Embry as I walked to my room.

"How'd it go?" He asked.

"Bella." Was all I could manage to stutter out as I went into my room, crashing on my bed.

_His red eyes stared at my bear flesh as he clamped a hand to my throat. Shoving me against the wall, I let out a yelp of pain. _

"_Hum… just like old times? But this time there is no getting rid of me, Klaira." He whispered in my ear moving a piece of hair behind it. _

_I let out a whimper; in response he shoved his hand harder into my throat. His second hand moved across my bear chest, tracing my marks. His ice cold fingers found the end of the marks; he moved that hand farther down, groping my left boob. I tried to scream but nothing came out, tears spilled from my eyes, dripping down my chin._

_I felt a burning sensation when my tears reached my neck. It stung as if I had been injured and the slightest of salt from the tears agitated it._

_He moved his hand from my throat, as he pressed his body closer to mine. Making me mold into the wall, as his lips grazed across my skin where I had felt the burning coming from earlier. As he licked my neck, inhaling the blood, a deep, low growl was heard from behind. _

"_Get your fucking blood sucking hands off of her!" The voice demanded._

_The voice, which belonged to non-other than Jacob._

_He flung my body down to the floor. I screamed in pain from the impact. He moved across the room pinning Jacob to the floor in a matter of seconds._

"_You will never have her. She is mine!" He said as he clamped Jacobs's throat. I curled myself up against the corner, so afraid of his return. _

_Quickly Jacob phased into his giant wolf form. A loud ringing was heard through the room as he yelled out in pain. He picked Jacob up with his remaining arm slinging him against the wall. As soon as he hit the wall he let out a loud agonizing yelp, as the wall came crumbling around him._

_As the dust began settling I tried to make my way to Jacob. As soon as I heard the cries from Jacob stop, I completely shut down. _

_I stood in the middle of the room, tears streaming down my face, frozen. He came towards me, pulling me up by the neck, throwing me against the wall. I arced my back in pain as I screamed out. He crouched down by my body placing his lips on my neck. I felt his teeth bear down on my skin, I didn't squirm, I didn't scream._

_I just let my whole world fade into darkness._

"Klaira. Klaira!" A voice pulled me from my nightmare. I shot up stifling a scream.

My eyes quickly scanned across Embry. I tied to catch my breath, my body covered in a cold sweat. I felt my chin quiver as I tried not to cry.

"Em, I…" I hit my breaking point. Tears began pouring from my eyes as Embry pulled me into his chest.

"Shh, Klaira. It's all right. Nothing is…" He stopped, pulling away from me, sniffing the air. Smelling it? What the fuck? Probably just a wolf thing. "He's been here." He said pulling me back into his chest.

My heart pounded in my chest as I struggled to find my breath.

Embry crawled under the sheets next to me, still holding me. He continued hushing my cries as he rubbed soft circles into my back.

Soon enough I began calming down trying to go back to sleep. But it seemed sleep would never find me that night. Letting me worry all through it.

Chapter 13: Courage and Shock

By Friday I had built up enough courage to confront Jacob. I needed to tell him about the problem I had with him spending too much time with Bella. I needed to express that I was falling for him. Most importantly I had to apologize for the way I had been acting.

I had been treating him like a bitch. I hadn't even thanked him for what he did when we went on our little road trip. I had crushed him. I knew I had. I didn't understand how he could be so attached to me but still hold his infatuation with Bella. Maybe Bella was making him feel better for what I did to him. Maybe he just is in love with her. But why did he feel for me, too.

Then how would I express how I was feeling. That would end up being a major problem. I couldn't express myself. It usually ended up turning in to rage, or hate. Once again acting like a bitch. I just couldn't find it in me to be nice. I knew it was in there somewhere, just hidden in the depths of my soul. The depths of my dark, heartless soul.

How could anyone love someone like me? It seemed impossible, unfathomable.

I was just setting myself up to get hurt. I was lying to myself to make things seem better.

Jacob didn't love me. Then that meant Embry had been telling me those things to make me feel better. Why did he care to make me feel better? Oh, that's right; he's my big-brother. He's supposed to do that. Just like he was supposed to tell me I'm pretty. I wasn't pretty, so therefore Jacob didn't deserve me. Bella was far more gorgeous than I.

If I was pretty, I would be different. I wouldn't be rough and headstrong. I wouldn't know the world as it is. Cruel. I wouldn't know the dangers that were held in it. If I was pretty, I wouldn't be who I am today. That could possibly be a good thing, but I don't want to be pretty so I would be different.

I wasn't to be beautiful so I could have a chance.

I have faced many of my fears and grown stronger within them. This is one fear I must conquer.

But there still is that one fear that keeps creeping up on me. It won't stop until he makes his return. I can't conquer it, somehow. Yes, I have grown stronger from it. I think. But maybe not, the fear is bottled up inside slowly emerging to the surface.

The fear that I have with Jacob is one I have doubts about overcoming. Anything can happen. Everything can go wrong.

Everything can go right, too. And I must keep that in mind when facing him. I must force myself to be optimistic.

I continue walking down the endless trail from school. It leads me into the woods as I am covered from the begging's of a raging storm. I don't pick up my pace, in fact I slow down. I relish in the storm. I take in a deep breath, smelling the forest around me. The forest that reminds me so much of Jacob. Reminding me of the night we shared in the bed and breakfast. The way he acted was different, I hadn't pushed him away. I had held to him, let him help me.

I realized that it was better that way. That I need not push him away because that just caused more chaos. Instead I should pull him in, let him fix me. Let him help.

I needed it. In fact I was longing for it. That was what my hole of hurt would be mended with. Him. Not drinking, not smoking. Those were cover ups. He could actually repair it. Make me whole.

My feet constantly lead me down the path through the forest. The rain found its way through the tress plummeting to the earth below. Rain slid down my hair meeting my chin, hastily I pulled my hood over my head. The wind picked up pushing my hood with my hair back. I lifted my head up letting the rain pelt on my face.

I cut through the forest, emerging through the tress that led me to the back of Jacob's house. I caught him heading towards his garage. Whatever he was doing could wait for a moment. I had waited all day to talk to him; he could at least push aside a minute or so to listen.

"Black." I called heading towards him. I guess I wasn't loud enough for him to hear through the storm. Or maybe he didn't want to talk to some one who called him Black. "Jacob." I tried louder, making my way faster towards him. Still it didn't grab his attention. "Dammit Jake, I know you can hear me." I yelled as I ran towards him. He stopped and turned around, towering over me.

"What do you want?" He said in a bitter tone, an annoyed expression on his face.

"Jacob, I wanted to talk to you." I replied in a small voice, starring at my feet.

"Well I don't want to talk to you." He said his voice hurt, as if it pained him to say it. As if he wanted to talk to me, but had to say no. It was because I had hurt him. He turned around heading back to his garage.

"Just hear me out. Please." I pleaded, trying not to let my newly founded emotions get the best of me. I took in a deep breath hoping he would come back. I lifted my head finding him standing before me.

"Fine." He said looking over my head, as if it pained him to look at me. It probably did.

"Jacob, I…" I searched for the words not exactly knowing what to say. I took in a deep breath, my heart pounding loudly in my chest. "What I said the other day back by the cave. I didn't mean it. I just wanted to fix myself on my own terms. I didn't want help. I shouldn't have pushed you away. It was wrong." He nodded hid head in comprehension. I took in a large breath preparing myself for what was to be said. "I had no room to say those things. What I said to you before I left was the stupidest thing I could ever." I diverted my eyes from him, not able to look at him. "It was selfish of me. A real bitch move."

"You think?"

"No, I know. And for that I'm…" I gulped trying to say the word. "I'm sorry." Before heading back to my house I had to say something so I wouldn't have to hear what he had to say. "And Jacob you can choose to forgive me or not. But I am truly sorry. The one thing that I'm sorry for the most is hurting you." Thunder boomed as lighting flashed across the sky. The winded howled as rain flew from the sky, causing one of the worst storms in a while. "It kills me to know that I have caused you pain." He still held the same dark expression on his face I turned around heading through the storm to my home.

"Why did you not want my dad to tell me that you stopped by?" He said his voice suddenly behind me.

"That doesn't matter." I said as I continued to walk away.

"Yes it does." He proclaimed in his normal voice. He grabbed my hand swinging me around to face him. "Tell me." He pleaded, looking through his long eye lashes into my dark eyes.

"I can't." I diverted my eyes from his gaze looking at the ground. Pulling my hand from his, not wanting the intimate touch.

"Is it because of Bella?" He asked with a wondering look plastered on his face.

"No, it's not." I lied, turning around once more, trying hopelessly to get away.

"Yes it is. You know it, Klaira." He yelled after me. I turned trying to hide my hurt from him.

"Yes I do, but that doesn't change anything." I said feeling my hurt behind the words that I yelled at him, through the howling of the wind and pounding of the rain.

"Yes it does. Why are you jealous of her?"

"It's irrelevant." I said not wanting to tell him how I felt. He didn't forgive me so he could just go and have her. I didn't have a chance anyhow.

"Dammit Klaira, it isn't! It matters."

"To who?"

"Me!" He yelled through the storm. "Now, why?"

"She has you! There, you happy now?" I yelled, not wanting him to go any further into it. He came closer to me, leaving two feet between us.

"What? Why, Klaira?" I took in a sharp breath, the words spilling from my mouth.

"I'm falling for you." I faintly said, sure that he didn't hear me.

Quickly he closed the space between us, placing his hands on my face. He pulled me to him. Before I knew what was happening, two, warm, wet lips were pressed to mine.

Chapter 14: Birthday and Truth

I watched intently, through the woods as she sat upon the shore. I couldn't help but ponder, why on such an occasion that she would. It had to have been something to do with her past.

I was determined to find out what and fix it at all cost. All cost except for hurting her.

"Embry," I called pulling him aside from his journey to Sam's.

Hastily he made his way through the woods, to my side.

"What, Jacob?" He asked.

"What's wrong with her? Today out of any day she has to be like this? That's just not right, man." I asked motioning towards his sister on the secluded beach.

"That's something I can't tell you, only her." He replied, it was as if she had some hold over him.

"What? Are you under some Alpha command?" I mocked, punching his arm.

"Na, man. It's called being a good big-bro. Anyways; you need to addresses it to her. You need to gain her trust."

I couldn't help but think of how right he was. Hell, he always was right.

**Klaira POV**

I sat in the sand on the abnormally sunny day. Of course, on any other day it has to be sunny. Really? This definitely wasn't a bright, cheery sunny day for me.

It hadn't been in a long time.

I found myself longing for it to be. To be happy once more. To stop dwelling in the past. For everything to be alright.

I heard a ruffling from the trees behind me. I didn't think to turn around and check to see who it might be. I didn't really care.

I let the sun warm my back as I continued to sit upon the shore, glancing out at the sea. I felt a presence beside me. A little close for my liking.

A felt a carefree aura flow from him as did the heat that was emitted from his body. I knew it was none other than Jacob.

I had sort of grown accustom to him being around me more. But I still wasn't as comfortable as he wanted me to be.

"Happy Birt…"

Quickly I snapped my head in his direction. I glanced up at him, even while sitting he still towered over me.

"Don't say it." I scolded. I hated those two words.

"Oh, come on. Why not?" He whined, ruffling a piece of my hair.

"It's nothing to be celebrated." I said coldly, flinging his hand away. I pressed mine in the same spot to smooth down the mess.

"You birth is definitely something to be celebrated." His gorgeous smile lit up his face sending a strange feeling through me. I liked it? Ugh, stupid hormones!

"Not for me."

"Well it is for me." He said his voice, low and husky. I watched as he leant forward to kiss my cheek.

"Uh, no thank you." I said pushing his face away. I turned my attention back to the water. Watching the waves freely crash upon the shore.

"Klaira, what's wrong?" He asked, solemnly.

"What? Nothing is wrong. You assume something is wrong because I won't kiss you?"

"No, Klaira. That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what?" I asked, somewhat knowing the answer already.

"Something has been troubling you. I want to know what it is. You shouldn't be feeling this way on your bir…"

"Don't say it."

"Sorry. Will you tell me?"

"Jacob, I don't know…it's just…"

"Klaira," – he grabbed my face, pulling it to meet his gaze. "Look at me. You can tell me. Trust me."

Oh, how I wanted to trust him. I wanted to tell him. Maybe he could help.

I guess now was better than never.

I took in a deep shaky breath; I ran my fingers through my hair, saying, "I don't know where to begin."

"Start form the begging." He slowly brought his burning hands from my cheeks. Gradually he reached out to hold my hand, in a reassuring way.

Wow! He surly cared about me.

I let a deep sigh come from within and I began.

"Two to three years ago my mom was dating this guy. He was tall, muscular and handsome. That's all that he was.

"From the beginning, Embry hated him. I was all into giving people chances and that shit. He seemed nice. Having all of us fooled. Embry saw through his façade. But soon he became lured in by his charm.

"My mother was hooked. She thought he was the most perfect man alive. She thought she had finally found the one.

"January thirteenth was when I figured out he was fake. I was drawing in my room like always. Embry was 'babysitting' me. I had stayed up later, dying for my mom to come home so she could see my picture. I had decided it couldn't wait till morning.

"I laid in my bed waiting for her to come in. She never did. The door creaked open; I shot up eager to show her my picture. But it wasn't her. He told me Mom was lying down, that she had a lot to drink and had passed out. He shut the door behind him, lingering in my room. He flickered off the lamp, grabbing my sketchbook and threw it aside."

I took in a deep breath to help me continue.

"He grabbed me, pressing me against the wall. I didn't know what was happening until he started hitting me. I attempted to scream but it was shut off. He clamped his hand over my throat saying, 'Sh, don't make a sound or it'll just get worse.' Struck with fear I obeyed him. His free hand dug through his pocket as he pulled out a knife. He held it in his hand flipping it over, examining it. He opened the blade and drug it across my skin, making sure to miss anything important. My screams were muffled, I cried hard. I didn't know what to do. I just laid there and took it. I couldn't fight he was too overpowering."

I noticed Jake slightly shaking. His grip tightened on my hand, causing it to hurt. As soothingly as possible I took my free hand and laid it upon his cheek. He turned his eyes to meet my gaze.

"Jacob if this is too much I can stop now."

"No," he debated. "Continue I can deal with it."

"It's only going to get worse."

"I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? Because I think I've lost all feeling in my hand."

He quickly glanced down, immediately releasing my hand.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded, kissing my finger tips. "Please go on."

"He was careful not to leave any damage that was noticeable. He made sure everything would be covered by my clothing. Finally he laid me back on my bed. Before leaving he said, 'Now don't tell anyone, this is our little secret.' He ran his hand over my hair and then kissed my head. Lastly before shutting the door he said, 'Goodnight, Klaira.'

"That night I laid there. I couldn't sleep. I didn't know a person could cry so much. I didn't understand what I had done wrong. What I did to deserve it.

"I kept to myself for a couple of weeks hoping it would pass. It didn't. It only seemed to get worse every time. I had to constantly wash my clothes and sheets because of the blood. I had to be cautious of what I wore because of the wounds. I didn't want anyone to know. Finally I caved and told Embry. He believed me. He wanted to fix it. He told me to tell Mom, but I was too scared. Too embarrassed. I thought she wouldn't believe me.

"I was terrified of anytime he came over. Most nights I would sleep with Embry in his room. But on the ones I didn't… Finally I told my mom. All she said was that it was a 'preposterous story' and to 'stop denying that he's apart of our life.' That was part of my turning point."

The next part I had to divert my eyes from Jacob's gaze, it was too damn hard to look at him.

"On my fourteenth birthday was when everything took a turn for the worst. I had so much fun and was worn out from the day. You remember, you had come to the party. I was lying on my bed hoping everything was going to be okay. He had held off for a long time. I thought it was over. I was wrong.

"That night I wanted to die. Nothing felt worth living for. I was so close to doing it. But I loved Embry too much. I couldn't do it to him."

I took in a sharp breath as I searched for the words to let him know what had happened. I hadn't even confessed this part to Embry. He was convinced that it was just an intense beating. It was so much more.

"That night was so different. It was by far the most terrible night ever. The worst. He came into my room like always, but instead of just beating me… He got on top of the bed throwing the covers aside. He took out his knife and cut my clothing from me. I screamed and I fought. I did everything for it not to happen. It should've never happened like that."

I took in a large sharp breath, fighting the tears. My voice shook as I said, "He raped me, Jacob." Tears fell from my eyes as I was pulled into Jacob's chest. I pushed back.

"No, I'm not done. The last thing I heard him say before he knocked me out was, 'Happy Birthday, Klaira.'"

Daylight was slipping from our grasp as we made our way to my house. He followed behind me as we walked in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence. No, it was more of a comfortable silence.

He had a better understanding of me, he seemed to cherish it.

I felt so free that I had told him. He now understood me and it seemed as if I grasped a better understanding of myself.

It felt good to not have to lie and keep things bottled up. Even if he almost phased when I told him.

I abruptly stopped in front of him. I turned around to find him straight in front of me.

"What?" He asked, wonder crossing his face.

"Jacob, I'm sorry for pushing you away. I real…"

Suddenly I was cut off his warm finger pressed to my lips.

"Sh. There's no need Klaira. I fully understand."

"Hey, I'll race you back to the house." I said a smirk planted on my lips.

"You're on."

"On go. Ready," we got into a runners position. Quickly I jolted up running as fast as I could, yelling 'go' as I ran.

"You cheater." Jacob yelled as he began to run catching up with me.

Heavy breathed and footed we made it back to my house. Coming from behind he grabbed my waist spinning me around.

"I won." I said a sly smile crossing my face.

"You cheated." He said gazing down at me, he hands still placed firmly on my hips.

"I won fair and square. You just don't want to admit it." I teased.

"I let you win; it's your birth…"

"What did I say about that word?"

"Oh, sorry." A smirk planted itself on his face as he bent down.

Full aware of what was about to happen, I slipped from his grasp. I came up behind him, standing on my toes to whisper in his ear. "I still won on my own."

I scurried to the door making my way in, Jacob directly behind me.

Strangely no one was home.

"Hello? Anyone home?" I asked as I made my way to the kitchen.

Suddenly the lights flashed on. Everyone jumped up from spots around the room yelling "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Klaira!"

Chapter 15: Presents and Wanting

A smile crept up my face as the souls that were hidden around us jumped up, screaming, "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Klaira!"

Immediately Klaira snapped her head in my direction. Her eyes slightly went dark the disapproval clear in her features. But I stared deeper into her eyes noticing something hidden in their facade.

"Wipe that smile off your face, Jacob." She said with disdain. "I swear if you..."

Her mother cutoff her rebellion as she wrapped Klaira in her arms. She extended her arms looking at her 'baby'. Quickly she planted a kiss on Klaira's cheek stating, "Happy Birthday, Baby."

Klaira's chest heaved up and down, releasing a heavy sigh. Hastily she weaved through the crowd finding her brother. I slightly followed and watched their interaction from afar.

"Hey, lil-sis. Happy Birthday!" Embry exclaimed, ruffling Klaira's hair.

"How dare you!" She snapped, staring up at him. "You know I hate surprises and this damn birthday!"

"Hey!" Embry threw up his hands in defense. "Don't get on to me it wasn't my idea."

"Then whose?" She asked, but I could tell from the tone behind her voice that she already knew.

"Why don't you go talk to your boyfriend? I'm sure he'll know."

"He's not my boy... or whatever... he's... Just forget it."

Embry let out a chuckle as she stormed back towards me.

"You!" She said through her teeth pointing a slim finger at me.

"Me." I stated, looking down at her as she stopped right in front of my chest.

"What the fu..."

"Whoa! Watch it, not in front of a kid." I warned cupping my hand over her mouth. Suddenly she stuck her tongue out swiping it across my hand. After waiting a few seconds I removed my hand as Klaira realized the tapping on her leg.

"Happy Birthday, Klaira." Anna said in a muffled voice as she wrapped her tiny arms around Klaira's legs. "I got you a present! Will you open it, please?" The little girl begged with bright eyes.

Klaira shrugged and soon Anna was off. Klaira turned back to me to say something, but was put at a halt as Anna came back, holding a box in her small hands. She pushed the box up in Klaira's direction, with shaky hands Klaira took it from the girl.

Slowly she undid the wrapping. When the present was bare she stared down at the gift in her hands. Stunned Klaira was at a loss for words.

"I had it custom made to look like you. I thought you could use it to practice so when you come back over to my house you'll be better at playing Barbies. See it even has a music player and a drawing pad with a pencil, just like you. Oh, and I drew you a picture. It's in the box."

I found the box shoved into my chest as Klaira pulled Anna to the side thanking her and exclaiming about how she needed to get cake before she left.

"But you get the fist piece. It's you're birthday." Anna protested.

"I insist. I'm the birthday girl and I make the rules and I say you get a piece. Anyways, you have to leave soon."

I glanced down at the box in my hands to see a Barbie Doll that looked identical to Klaira. It pained me to look at the scratch marks across her chest.

The one thing that I wished I could take away was forever etched in her skin. And if by some miracle they vanished it would forever be etched in this damn doll's plastic skin.

Klaira POV

I quietly sat on the cabinet avoiding my 'guest' wanting this damn thing to end. I hated surprises, I hated parties, and my fucking birthday!

Did no one understand that?

Suddenly, Emily was in front of me dragging me to the table.

"Will you let go?" I yelled, yanking back my hand but she was stronger than I thought.

"Nope. Not until you sit down at the table." Emily rebelled.

"I don't want to." I wined.

"Yes you do. You have to open you're presents."

Oh joy! Presents.

I had, had enough cake and I almost got sick watching all of the boys scarf down five or more pieces. I was done with the festivities and thought I had made it very clear when I refused to blow out the candles. Obviously not!

Emily plopped me down on the chair as Jake came up behind me running his hands across my shoulders. I jerked my head in his direction mouthing 'I hate you.'

'Sure.' He mouthed back, squinting his eyes and shaking his head.

After sitting through the last hours in agony of my party I found myself in the frigid cold air outside my window. I just sat there glancing up at the stars lost in my thoughts.

"Cold?" A voice asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I turned towards the voice, and watched as Jake climbed through the window. I shrugged as he sat beside me, feeling the warmth from his body I soon became slightly warmer.

"Where's my present?" I joked, a smile on my lips. He pulled his left hand from behind his back giving me a small box. "Oh goodie." I stated in a monotone voice.

"Just open the damn box." Jacob demanded.

I did as told, once open I couldn't detach my eyes from the camera. It was too beautiful.

"I thought you could capture your art in a different way. The way the camera takes pictures is just amazing. I had to get it for you."

"Oh." Was all I managed to stutter out. Then another bright sentence. "I can't take this, it must have caused you a fortune." Slowly I pushed it back to him.

"No, don't, Klaira. I wanted you to have it."

I watched as he picked up my hand placing it on the camera. He squeezed my fingers, stating, "Your fingers are cold." Slowly he brought his fingers to his lips, instantly warming them.

I fixated my gaze from his lips to his eyes then back again. He leaned towards me his eyes locked on mine. His left hand reached behind my back pulling me closer to him as his other hand entangled itself with my hair. He pulled my face to his as I let my eyes close.

My face heated up as I was sure the whole world could hear the beating of my heart. I moved my hands reaching behind his neck as his lips were placed firmly to mine. Slowly our lips moved against each others, our bodies drawing closer together. I let a soft moan come from within as the kiss began heating up.

The best birthday gift ever!

He pulled away I could tell he wasn't sure of his control. To think that he wanted me like that was unfathomable.

"Happy Birthday, Klaira." He said just before pulling my head to meat his lips. Suddenly he jumped off the roof heading home. And there I was-

Left alone on the roof, wishing he didn't have to go. Oh my damn hormones! But that wasn't the cause of my emotion.


	4. Chapter Sixteen And Seventeen

Chapter 16: Taken and Lies

Ah, the week of spring break. One I loved. Loved being the key word. Now, I hate it.

Embry walked in the house in a weird mood. He wasn't the joyous, peppy Embry that I knew. I watched his composure, his hung head and dark demeanor.

"Embry," I questioned as he passed me, heading up the stairs. "What's wrong?"

"Harry Clearwater," he began.

"Yeah?" I egged on.

"He had a heart attack." I gasped at his words.

"Oh my God!" I faintly whispered.

"He's currently in the hospital."

"Are you going up there?"

"Yeah I want to be with Seth and Leah for support. I think the whole pack is going to be there. Do you want to come?"

"I… I don't really know. You're so much closer with Seth and Leah it would kind of be awkward. Don't you think so?"

"It's whatever Klaira. I'm going, you…" He stopped himself, gaining control of his anger.

"You know I don't do well with emotional problems. Especially when others are very emotional." I retorted.

He quickly left the house softly stating that he was going over to Quil's to head into Forks.

He was taking this way harder than I thought. Then again Harry had always sort of been a father to Embry. Embry did love him that way. I guess when a pack member was hurt it was the same for the other pack members. Embry had mentioned that they did have a direct line to each other's thoughts.

I sat on the small chair in my house going back to my book. The small lamp in the room illuminated just enough light for me to read.

"_Look at this," he said. "What do you think it is?"_

_After a moment's hesitation, Paul crossed the room and looked. "A tree?" he said. "It looks like a silhouette of a tree."_

"_Good," David said. "Now look again. I took…_

I jumped, flinging the book across the room as the insistent ringing of the phone broke the peaceful silence of the room.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Klaira?" I voice that sounded like my brothers said. But then again it sounded somewhat different. Something had happened.

"Yes?"

He took in a deep breath then after a short silence he said, "Harry Clearwater passed away."

"Embry, I'm so…"

"Save it!" He snapped. "Just go deliver the news to Jacob, will you?"

"What? Isn't he with you?"

"No. Just do what I ask!" He demeaned.

"Fine." I slammed the phone down into the receiver.

I scurried up the stairs into my room. I slipped on my combat boots and a jacket. I flew down the stairs and made my way to Jacob's house.

I couldn't stand the way Embry was acting. I hated that he pushed me away and didn't want me to comfort him. Funny, sounds familiar. Realization hit me as I realized I was just like that. Shit, now Embry was turning into me. Not the best thing. Not the best thing at all.

I didn't bother with knocking on the door. I didn't think Jacob would mind.

I lurked through the dark room, finding the light switch. Hastily I flipped the light on.

"Shit!" Jacob said groggily as he stood from the floor. He took one look at my face noticing my emotion.

"Jake," I said as I made my way towards him. He tensed and suddenly acted weird. Maybe he suspected what I was about to say. "Harry Clearwater is…"

Suddenly I stopped noticing the sleeping Bella on Jacob's couch. Her hair was wet and she was in his clothes. My heart clenched as tears whelped up behind my eyes. I looked from her to the previous spot he had been asleep on. I felt sudden emotions I had no clue of what they were. I didn't like them. They started building up and taking over.

"Klaira…" He tried to explain but I cut him off.

"What? It's not what it looks like, right?" My nostrils flared as I let out a small whimper. Shit! When did I ever act like this? "No! It's exactly what it looks like!" I yelled.

Bella jumped up glancing at me in wonder. Then she looked at Jake and clutched her stomach. What the hell?

"Klaira, please listen to me."

"What is there to fucking listen to?"

"A lot, please."

"Klaira, listen to him." Bella rasped out.

"Shut the hell up! I see the truth now! I don't need any explanation. Be happy," I said towards Bella. "You finally got him."

Jake reached for my hand as tears slipped from my eyes. I slapped his hand, a hurt look crossed his face as it looked as if he was bound to cry.

"You don't know it yet but all she is doing is using you! Isn't that right, Bella? You're just so sad about you fucking boyfriend that left you. So you use Jacob to feel better. Like a damn drug! And you," I turned towards Jacob. "You just keep coming back to her. To your little infatuation."

"Klaira, stop it!" Jacob yelled.

"No Black I won't! What was I to you? Obviously nothing. A lie. A big fat fucking lie. I was just something to pass the time with, right? I'm not far off am I? Am I?" I yelled, bearing my chest towards him, pushing his chest.

Hastily, he grabbed my hands in his.

"Klaira, please…" He pleaded, near tears. I felt my emotion change instantly. My hurt changed into rage, as my eyes went black.

"No! Get the fuck out of my life, Black! And don't try to fix it. Don't follow me! Understand? You've royally fucked up this time. No turning back. You made the choice. I hope it's one you can live with."

And with that I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me.

I ran.

I ran into the forest and in a matter of seconds I found myself in a child's pose on the forest floor. I gasped out for air, pain filling my whole body. I cried out in agony as tears flowed like a flood from my eyes.

I couldn't take it. I lied there not knowing what to do. I couldn't go back. There was no fucking way.

Hysterics began taking over my body as I found it hard to breathe.

Nightfall hit the forest, still crying I decided it would be best to head home. Suddenly I couldn't find where I was. I was…

Lost!

But how? I had never been lost in the woods before.

Too much was happening all at once. Abruptly I found myself back on the ground of the forest. Slowly fatigue set in causing me to fall asleep. No matter how much I didn't want to sleep took its hold.

I jumped up not having the slightest clue where I was. My eyes scanned the present room I was in. I tried to stand, but to no avail. I was restrained by something and there was no getting free.

Suddenly everything dawned on me and I knew where I was. Holy shit!

My nightmare was going to come true sooner than I thought.

Chapter 17: Reality and Vampires

The entire ride to Bella's home in Forks was unbearably quiet. She couldn't say anything? Did she have nothing to say to me? I took in a sharp breath trying not to get any angrier than I already was at her.

The day that I had gone into town to 'see Bella,' it was definitely not because I wanted to see her. She was probably the last person I had wanted to see, but I had to set things straight. The pull towards Klaira was becoming stronger and stronger. The more she pushed me away the more I craved for her. It had become too much. I had to have Klaira.

The first step to getting her was not having Bella anymore.

It was late at night and somehow I got her to let me in. She was thrilled to see me, I was anything but. I stood there, with a stiff face and told her, 'Bella, don't you ever come around me again.' Her face immediately fell as she let out a small 'why?' I replied still standing my ground, being firm with my words, 'I don't want you to. I. Don't. Want. You. Or anything pertaining to a friendship with you. Anything.' With that I left. I known I had been harsh but it needed to be done. I'm pretty sure I added to her depression she had fallen into, but she would just continue to ruin things if she stayed. I had to be straight forward and harsh. She needed to get the point through her stubborn head. There was a slight singe of remorse but not much.

Then today, of all days she has to show up and pull that damn stunt. I heard her scream knowing she needed help. At first I had thought the red-headed blood sucker was after her, but that wasn't it at all.

I didn't do anything to her but save her God forsaken life. She was such a dumb ass being so reckless. Always starving for attention. Sometimes I wish that the damn bloodsucker would come and take her back. I was done with Bella, today was the last straw.

My hands clenched on the steering wheel as the truck came to a halt. I hastily cut off the engine, the world silent.

I turned toward her, not able to look at her.

"You royal fucked things up for me this time, Bella. Do you know that?" I said, my jaw clenching as my nostrils flared and eyes widened.

"I do." She said in a small voice.

"Do you know how… Wait, what?"

"I said I do. I know what I've done. Do you not think I saw the look in your eyes when she told you to get out of her life? I know how it feels." Immediately at the thought she clutched her stomach. Still in agony over her leach. It was so damn pathetic.

"I don't want you fucking sympathy." I reached for the handle of the door, opening it. Immediately the cool air blasted in my face. The smell hitting me like a ton of bricks. "Oh," I gasped out. "Holy shit!"

Hastily I slammed the door shut, twisting the keys into the ignition in the same moment. My hands began fiercely shaking.

"What's wrong?"

I revved the truck, making it sputter and falter.

"Vampire," I hissed out.

"How do you know?"

"I can smell it! Dammit!"

My eyes hastily scanned the road ahead. My thoughts conflicting at every turn. "Phase or get her out of here?" I spat at myself.

I snapped my head towards Bella. Her emotions evident on her face. It pained me to still look at her. Somewhere deep I still held feelings for her. The poor thing was terrified. "Right. Get you out."

The engine caught with a roar. The tires squealed as I spun the truck around, turning toward out only escape.

"Stop!" She gasped out. There was no way in hell I was stopping.

"Stop!" She cried again, louder actually catching my attention.

"What?"

"It's not Victoria." The red-head? But it could always be the one Embry had mentioned a few nights ago. "Stop, stop! I want to go back."

"What?" I asked starring at her with horror filled eyes, slamming the breaks at her comment.

"It's Carlisle's car! It's the Cullens. I know it."

"Oh will you hush!"

"Dammit Jake I won't. Turn your head and see for yourself."

I kept my head forward.

"Now take me back!" She demanded.

"There's a vampire in your house and you want to go back?"

"Of course." Yes of course she did she's a damn leach lover. "Take me back." She pleaded once more.

"No. Take yourself back, if you're so sure. I'm done with this shit!" She flinched, the words like a slap to her face. I pushed the truck into neutral, keeping it running. I jumped from the cab. "I hope you don't die." I said in a harsh voice as I headed towards the darkness.

I knew it was wrong but I couldn't go there. I was too pissed. I needed my space. It seemed no one really understood that anymore.

There was the slight part of me that wanted to go back and make sure she was okay, but I couldn't be the cause of breaking the treaty. I wouldn't allow that to be held over my head for all eternity.

I continued running into the dark heartless night. I let out a heavy sigh, thoughts of what happened earlier that day streaming through my head. Suddenly the impact hit me harder than possible.

Abruptly I braced my self upon a tree, gasping for air. My gut wrenched inside, as if the venom from a vampire were flowing through it. I found myself on the ground, still not able to breathe. I had no clue what was going on.

The base pull that I felt for Klaira turned numb as a tear fell from my eye.

I found my breath again and got to my feet. The ring of my phone broke through the peaceful silence of the forest.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Jake!" Embry said in a frantic voice.

"Wait, Embry. What's wrong?"

"Where's Klaira? Is she with you?"

"No. Isn't she at the house with you?"

"Well shit! She's probably…"

"What about her? I know she's pissed at me, if that's what it is."

"No, Jake. Listen. She's gone."

"What the hell? Is it like last time? Has she gone back to drinking?"

"No, I've looked at all of her drinking spots. Jake it's not like last time. So she's not with you?"

"No. Like I said she's pissed. Why are you so worried?"

"I was coming back from the hospital and she wasn't at the house. I went and looked at yours but she wasn't there either. I thought she was with you or something. So since it's my night to patrol, I go on patrol. Suddenly I catch her sent and think it would lead me to her." He stopped.

"What? Embry, what?"

"Her smell vanished. There was blood where it ended."

"Do you know what's happened?"

"Oh course I do! I know what a fucking bloodsucker smells like."

Shudders ripped through my body as my wolf form took over. The phone fell to the ground as Embry's words continued.

"Please tell me she's not dead. We have to find her. Either we're going to find a dead body or one extremely close to death. Please let me know you can still phase? She has to be alive. You have to be able to turn."

I cut off his excessive wariness with a howl, answering all of our questions. Howls filled with pain, but also triumph. The triumph to know she was still alive!


End file.
